I didn't reply. Instead, after discussing it with Nathan, I converted the gifts into their cash equivalent and transferred the money back to Julian.

Shortly after, Julian transferred $999,999 back to me and set his account to block transfers from strangers. His phone number also became a disconnected line. Just like that, Julian and I returned each other to the sea of people, vanishing from each other's worlds for good.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months.

The class I was teaching reached the time for the National College Entrance Exam once again. This time, Nathan and I went to Baiyun Temple together to offer the first incense of the year. It was New Year’s Day, and we arrived early; the temple was still nearly empty.

I asked Nathan if he remembered what I looked like the first time he saw me. He looked at me, reflecting seriously.

"Your hair was longer then, and you were thinner. Kneeling there, you looked like a fairy standing before a Bodhisattva. I thought to myself:

this is fate.

"

I shot him a look. "Are you saying I'm fat and ugly now?"

Nathan waved his hands frantically. "That's not what I meant! You clearly weren't happy back then. It broke my heart. I thought if I could get to know you, I'd make sure you gained ten pounds—a healthy kind of beauty."

He made "attraction at first sight" sound so poetic that I reached out and pinched his lips shut. "I told you not to talk nonsense in front of the Bodhisattva!"

Nathan made small, muffled noises of protest, his "cold, handsome heartthrob" image from our first meeting completely shattered. I couldn't help but laugh.

In the past, I was used to Julian being gentle to others and cold to me. Now, Nathan was gentle, goofy, silly, childish, and mature toward me, while remaining distant, polite, and reserved with everyone else. I think this is what love is supposed to look like. To be your whole self in front of your partner, no matter which version of you that is.

Nathan and I sat together in the Great Buddha Hall, reverently holding the sandalwood incense above our heads. This time, besides making a wish for my students, I made one for Nathan and me.

"May Nathan and I stay together for a long, long time, and always treat each other with sincerity."

After we returned, our parents met for dinner. The two families sat together in harmony, discussing wedding dates, venues, and the guest list. The wedding was set for three days after the entrance exam.

I became a completely hands-off bride, letting Nathan handle the details and only looking them over when they were finished. Then came the dress fitting. Nathan insisted on the best, most expensive, and most beautiful gown, determined to make it a lifelong memory for me. I knew he was just trying to outdo my first wedding. He could be quite childish, always subtly competing with my "ex-husband" in various ways.

But if he didn't bring it up, I had truly long since forgotten Julian. Those six years of grievance were like passing clouds—insignificant in the grand flow of my life. I realized that the "good" part of that past was always me, not Julian.

On the day of the exam, I wore a bright red qipao to wish my students victory. Watching the kids walk in full of fighting spirit and walk out with quiet confidence made me incredibly proud.

Three days after the exam, at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, my wedding took place as scheduled. Though we didn't go to a church, Nathan, being a fan of ritual, invited an elderly priest to officiate.

Before the eyes of the crowd, the priest looked at us and asked softly:

"Mr. Zhou, will you take this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together in holy matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"

Nathan looked at me, his voice steady. "I will."

The priest then turned to me. "Ms. Clara, will you take this man to be your wedded husband, to live together in holy matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"

Without a second thought, I replied, "I will."

And so, amidst a shower of flower petals and the blessings of everyone present, Nathan lifted my veil and kissed me with deep, cherished reverence. At this moment, the happiness I had long awaited finally settled firmly in the palm of our hands.

——————————

Julian’s Perspective

On the day Clara and Nathan got married, I was there. I sent a gift of 100,000 yuan under a fake name. It might have been a bit like burying my head in the sand, but I had promised Clara I would never appear again to disturb her life.

In all fairness, Clara and Nathan’s wedding was far more grand and solemn than mine had ever been. The flowers, the banquet, the officiant... every detail revealed how much Nathan and the Zhou family valued her.

I couldn't help but recall the day I married Clara five years ago. The disorganized itinerary, the flower stands and veils being tossed about by the sea breeze, my impatient relatives... I only gradually realized that Clara had been enduring things from the very first day of our marriage.

She endured the lack of preparation, my indifference and coldness, and my parents' nitpicking. Yes, at the beginning, even my parents didn't approve of her. They always felt I should marry someone from a background equal to ours—someone highly knowledgeable and with a limitless future.

Back then, Seraphina's family background was too poor. And while Clara’s original family was decent, she was "just" a high school teacher, seemingly unworthy of me when I was the chief physician at the hospital.

I didn't think about those things at the time. My thought was: as long as it wasn't Seraphina, it didn't matter who I married, as long as they were "suitable."

Furthermore, Clara loved me—more than anyone I had ever met who claimed to love me. She made it so obvious. It made someone as arrogant as I was want to see where her bottom line truly lay.

Can a human being really maintain a long-term love for another person? Even if they get no response? Even if they are neglected, ignored, and hurt?

I admit, I am a man filled with a dark side, full of flaws. It’s just that in a utilitarian society, I was packaged too well by my degrees, my looks, and my abilities. I thought this marriage would last three months at most, but Clara stubbornly extended its life to five years.

If I had recognized my own heart earlier and stopped testing the limits of her endurance for "loving me" time and time again, perhaps we would still be together—perhaps even "happily" so.

Clara was right; men are born with a "first love complex" and a desire to be a "savior." When I learned that Seraphina—who had abandoned me after university to go abroad with a professor—wasn't doing well in the UK, I felt a sense of satisfaction. I thought contemptuously:

Serves her right. Falling to this state is heaven's punishment for leaving me.

So, I couldn't wait to fly to the UK to "pull her up," simply to prove that her original choice had been completely wrong. I assumed Clara would endure it as she always had. I thought I could hide my involvement with Seraphina until my patience ran out and I declared it over.

But I didn't expect Clara to come to the UK on our fifth wedding anniversary. Seeing her in that torrential rain, my heart did ache for her. However, I never imagined she had already learned Spanish for my sake. That became the final straw that broke our marriage.

It turned out Clara always had a scorecard in her heart. Coming home on time earned me a point; refusing the stomach-soothing porridge she spent hours preparing cost me a point. Five years of additions and subtractions eventually couldn't withstand the zero I intentionally scrawled across the page.

After the divorce, I was in constant pain. I realized too late that I had already become accustomed to Clara’s presence in every aspect and corner of my life. Looking at the gifts in my mobile shopping cart that I never ordered, and the little trinkets from various places tucked away in the dressing room of that house in Edinburgh, I felt regret for the first time.

It was too late. Clara is a woman of great character; she can pick things up, but she can also let them go. When she said she wouldn't look back, she meant forever.

In the midst of daily mental torture, I began to suffer from insomnia, hallucinations, and anorexia. When I saw Nathan and Clara standing together in Yu City, my psychological defenses completely collapsed. I finally understood that I could never win her back.

After returning home, I chose to end my life. Unfortunately, I was saved by my parents and the doctors. My mother said that for the past five years, Clara had helped me fulfill my filial duties; if I died now and forced them to bury their own son, wouldn't that be the same as driving them to their graves?

Looking at my mother's tears and my father's white hair, I said nothing. I only said, much later:

Let's leave. Let's leave this city that is so full of Clara.

For many years afterward, I remained alone. I would still dream of Clara—the Clara whose heart and eyes were once filled only with me.

I died ten years after Clara and I separated. Terminal cancer; there was no cure.

On the day of the funeral, my soul watched my gaunt body being pushed into the crematorium, watching my parents weep uncontrollably. And during the official burial, I saw Clara.

She walked up to my tombstone and offered a single white chrysanthemum. I heard her say: "Julian, rest in peace."

[THE END]