"Sienna, listen to me."

Julian stopped in his tracks, his gaze earnest and focused.

I was instantly drawn in by his eyes; a sense of forbidden temptation wove through my heart.

"I am cold by nature and not sensitive to emotions. I couldn't quite distinguish whether what I felt for you was family affection or romantic love. But the moment I saw you again, I began to understand."

"Although it’s unfair to ask this of you now... could you wait for me?"

This was the first time I had ever heard Julian say so much at once.

Beyond the surprise, my heart was racing.

I could hear my heartbeat growing stronger and faster, and the thoughts in my mind grew more powerful.

Julian...

The chance to be with him was right within my reach.

As long as I agreed, as long as I was willing to go back to the way things were—

In the past, I always thought: if he ever agrees, my pursuit will finally be a success!

But now, I thought: what if he’s mistaken? What if he realizes that family affection still outweighs love... wouldn't I be completely finished then?

Julian was suddenly overcome by a wave of tension, a feeling he had never experienced before.

His heart pounded, and his palms sweated.

Was this the restlessness of love? Though it made him uneasy, it captivated him.

He looked at me, hoping for my consent.

My expression remained unchanged, showing neither joy nor sorrow.

A breeze blew past, bringing a hint of summer warmth, yet my hands were as cold as icy jade.

Only one sentence drifted through the wind: "I’m sorry, I can't wait for you."

Chapter 21

After those words were spoken, an awkward atmosphere settled between us.

Julian took half a step back, widening the distance between us.

My face turned pale. Even though I was the one who rejected him, I hadn't expected him to distance himself from me so quickly.

Julian turned his head away, looking troubled. "I’m sorry. It was reckless of me to say those things."

Only then did the color return to my face.

He continued, "It doesn't matter if you won't wait for me. I’ll work hard to catch up to you."

A warm current flowed through my fingertips, and my icy hands slowly began to warm up.

I almost lost my final line of defense.

A single thought filled my mind—be with him! Agree! Make him yours and yours alone!

But a sudden muscle cramp reminded me of the pain I had once endured.

One step forward might lead to the man of my dreams, but it might also be a step into a bottomless abyss.

I didn't dare to gamble, so I took a step back.

Julian didn't blame me; he still saw me home.

Once inside, I mechanically swallowed all my pills. My lucid mind was finally hypnotized by the side effects.

It didn't matter. After a night's sleep, everything would be forgotten, and I would become a "normal person" again.

...

Ever since that day, the atmosphere between Julian and me was one of constant entanglement, yet there was a barrier that couldn't be breached.

Julian was busy with a cross-province case involving a massive amount of capital; he was staying up late almost every night.

Despite this, he would still set aside two hours every day to sit in the coffee shop.

Just having a cup of coffee and watching me work seemed to satisfy him.

Yu teased me almost every day, making my face flush with embarrassment.

"You seem to be on this business trip for quite a while this time." I added half a cup to Julian’s coffee while asking him.

Julian looked up from behind his laptop, faint dark circles under his eyes.

"The net is closing in," he said. "My future work should also be based here in this city."

A cross-province case was no small matter, and as a prosecutor, Julian naturally couldn't be absent.

It had been a long time since I’d had anything to do with the law; hearing Julian talk about it made me feel how much things had changed.

There weren't many customers in the evening, so I simply sat down next to him and listened to the parts of the case he was allowed to share.

Although I couldn't help with his workload, I could at least help him organize his thoughts.

"Why didn't you continue being a lawyer when you came here?" Julian suddenly shifted the topic.

My body stiffened.

"I wanted to take the exam to be a judge, but I couldn't pass the vetting process for some reasons," I said lightheartedly.

Julian naturally knew what those "reasons" were.

With my paranoia, I couldn't even pass the first hurdle.

Julian wanted to know the details of my condition, but seeing my discomfort, he stopped asking.

He could only hope that one day, I would set aside the barriers and tell him myself.

Deep night arrived, and the lights of ten thousand homes slowly went out.

Yu had already tidied up the shop and closed the doors.

Julian intended to carry the sleeping Sienna back to her rented room.

Yu said, "Brother-in-law, Sienna is too heavy; I probably can't manage her. Why don't you take her back?"

Julian was won over by that "brother-in-law."

"Aren't you afraid I’ll do something?" Julian asked, amused.

Yu joked, "Heh, I’ve already checked. You two are childhood sweethearts; if anything was going to happen, it would have happened long ago. In my eyes, your character is absolutely fine."

Julian didn't refuse, tacitly agreeing to take me back.

While working here, Julian had chosen not to live with his colleagues; he carried me up to his guesthouse.

The quiet building was filled only with the sound of crickets.

Colored lights illuminated the flowerbeds, adding a touch of romance to the guesthouse with their vibrant blossoms.

He slowly laid me down on the bed.

As soon as I touched the soft bedding, I rolled right into it, mumbling something under my breath.

The sight made Julian smile.

Still just like a child.

"Julian... love you so much..."

The confession that escaped my lips was exceptionally clear in the silent night.

Julian’s smile faded slightly, his dark eyes growing deep and heavy.

He reached out and stroked my hair, his fingers running through the soft, smooth strands.

After a long silence, a faint murmur escaped him: "...I love you, too."

Chapter 22

My racing heart was impossible to hide; I was incredibly grateful that a heartbeat is a sound an ordinary person can't catch.

In fact, I had already woken up while we were coming upstairs.

Now, I stared wide-eyed at the white wall in front of me.

Unlike his previous confession, this was a complete declaration of love.

I wanted to get up and tell Julian that I was actually awake, that I wanted to throw away my previous thoughts and be with him.

But a force pinned my limbs down, leaving my whole body soft and powerless.

At that moment, Julian stood up and closed the bedroom door.

Everything merged into darkness.

I lay powerless on the bed, tears seeping from the corners of my eyes—I understood why this was happening.

Having taken psychiatric medication for a long time, my body had long since become accustomed to calming down whenever my paranoia flared up.

Just because I thought of something didn't mean I would do it.

Shrouded in the bedding that was filled with Julian’s scent, I had never felt so incompetent.

Why did I have to have this illness?

Why was loving someone so difficult?

Outside the bedroom, Julian sat on the sofa with a blanket draped casually over him.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, helplessly resting his arm over them.

Just now, he had seen that Sienna was awake, and he knew she had heard his words.

Unfortunately, he hadn't seen any joy from her.

Her silence and stillness were her answer.

To have reached this point was truly his own doing.

He would have to pay back every bit of suffering Sienna had endured in the past.

"Julian, you deserve this," he mocked himself.

Regret and sadness intertwined, weaving a cage of darkness that shrouded his heart and this little room.

Even the ivy blowing in the wind seemed to turn sinister.

...

The next day, Julian left the guesthouse early, leaving a note behind.

I walked out with dark circles under my eyes, my feet bare; the cold floor slowly cleared my head.

I took out my phone: "Yu, I’m not coming to work today."

After taking the day off, I went home, changed my clothes, and combed my hair again.

The version of me in the mirror had slightly dark cheeks and a dazed look in my eyes; it was like a dream of two years ago.

Five months after leaving Julian, I had looked just like this when I was on the verge of a mental breakdown.