Chapter 39: Sustained Entirely by Hormones

The afternoon sun was somewhat blinding, and the scent of boxed lunches lingered in the resting area of Coastal College.

"Not bad, Lucian." Chen leaned against the wall, a parched, unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth. He sized up Lucian, who was currently drinking water, wearing an appreciative expression that said,

the boy can be taught.

"Haven't seen you in a few days, and you're looking much more agreeable. With this newfound spirit, tsk tsk... turns out work really does suit a person. Right now, every inch of you screams 'mature man.' Your charm level is off the charts."

Lucian rolled his eyes and thudded his water bottle onto the table. "If you have something to say, say it. If not, beat it. Don't stand here in the way of my meal."

Chen gave a cheeky grin and was about to crack another joke when the commotion nearby caught his attention.

On a bench not far away, the second-place contestant, Haze, was scarfing down his lunch, his cheeks bulging.

Haze glanced at Xavier Lin, who sat motionless beside him, and asked through a mouthful of food, "Xavier, why aren't you eating? High-intensity training all morning and you haven't touched a drop of water. Are you an immortal or something?"

Xavier Lin was looking down, smoothing out the hem of his shirt. Hearing this, he lifted his head, that gentle and harmless smile fixed on his face, though his eyes were slightly evasive. "I'm not hungry. I... I already ate earlier."

"Give me a break." Haze set down the half-gnawed chicken leg in his hand and fished a perfectly wrapped sandwich out of his bag, stuffing it directly into Xavier Lin's hand.

"Alright, stop acting tough. If you pass out from low blood sugar later, it’ll be a hassle for someone to drag you to the hospital. Eat something to line your stomach, quick."

Xavier Lin froze, his fingers tightly clutching the sandwich that still carried Haze's body heat. He lowered his gaze, his long eyelashes masking a fleeting moment of embarrassment.

"Thank you," he said softly, his voice a bit dry.

"Psh, don't mention it."

Haze waved a hand dismissively, still chewing as he praised indistinctly, "With your looks, not debuting would be a loss for the entertainment industry! If I had your face, I’d debut as an idol one way or another."

Xavier Lin's hand holding the sandwich trembled ever so slightly.

He lowered his head to hide the complex look in his eyes, his mouth twitching into a smile that looked more painful than crying as he whispered, "...Thank you."

In his heart, Haze's praise felt more like an irony.

With such good conditions and such a superior starting point, why did people like Lucian still have to come and snatch away his only lifeline?

He took a cautious bite of the sandwich, his chewing mechanical and heavy, as if he were consuming not food, but his own pitiful scrap of dignity.

The noise of the resting area seemed sequestered in another world. Chen leaned bored against the wall, his gaze aimlessly scanning the contestants who were seizing the moment to catch up on sleep.

His eyes lingered on Lucian for a moment before shifting away, letting out a very faint "tsk."

"Man, this is boring..." Chen muttered under his breath, his fingers unconsciously tapping the seam of his trousers.

His thoughts drifted, and somehow, the image of a man who always wore crisp suits and exuded an aura that said "stay away"—Sebastian—popped into his head.

That lawyer.

Chen’s heart skipped a beat as his desire for gossip reached a boiling point.

He turned toward Lucian, who was resting with his eyes closed, and rolled his eyes before leaning in and whispering tentatively, "Hey, let me ask you something."

Lucian lazily lifted an eyelid, glanced at him, and remained silent—a silent green light for him to continue.

Chen leaned closer, his tone a mix of gossip and concern. "It's about... that Counselor Sebastian. How are things between you two now? He hasn't looked for trouble again, has he?"

Lucian’s originally relaxed body visibly stiffened the instant he heard the name "Counselor Sebastian."

He opened his eyes, a flash of complex emotion darting through them before settling into a dead silence.

He sat up straight, his fingers instinctively rubbing an inconspicuous smudge on his knee, his mouth curving into an extremely bitter arc.

"Actually..." Lucian's voice was a bit raspy, as if it contained grit. "We dated."

Chen was stunned, his eyes widening like copper bells. "Huh? Dated? Since when? Aren't you two...?"

"It didn't last long." Lucian lowered his gaze, avoiding Chen’s probing eyes, his tone becoming self-mocking. "It was just... born from passion, and ruined by... passion, I guess."

"What?" Chen didn't quite understand, looking utterly confused. "Passion? You mean you two..."

"Exactly what you're thinking," Lucian interrupted him, not wanting to dwell on the topic.

"Between adults, sometimes that's just how it goes. No emotional foundation, sustained entirely by hormones. It’s normal for it to collapse."

Chen opened his mouth, and after a long silence, he slapped his thigh in realization. "No wonder! I was saying, the day you didn't go to his place, why did he act like he'd swallowed a powder keg!"

Lucian snapped his head up, his gaze piercing Chen sharply. "That day?"

"The day you weren't there, when you told me and Xavier to go check on him."

"I'm telling you, the second we walked in, we saw him prone on the floor, his back in so much pain he couldn't move. His face was as white as a ghost, and his eyes were terrifyingly fierce. That kind of rage... tsk tsk, it was scary."

Lucian’s heart contracted violently.

Involuntarily, the image of Sebastian’s habitually cold face surfaced in his mind, along with those eyes tightly shut in agony due to his back injury.

"He..." Lucian's voice trembled slightly, but he immediately realized his loss of composure, forcibly swallowing the rest of his words and letting out a cold snort instead.

"I really had something urgent then, I truly couldn't leave! It’s his own fault for acting tough when his back was that bad."

"Hey now, look at what you're saying."

Chen sighed and patted Lucian’s shoulder. "From the look on his face, it didn't seem like pure anger. That look in his eyes... how do I put it? It was a bit like... the feeling of being abandoned."

"Abandoned?"

Lucian let out a cold laugh, as if he’d heard the funniest joke in the world. "Sebastian? Afraid of being abandoned? A man like him is used to being high and mighty. He’s the one who dumps people; there’s no way someone dumps him."

"Well, I’ve said my piece," Chen shrugged. "This thing between you two isn't that simple."

Lucian fell silent.

"That's enough."

Lucian stood up abruptly, his chair scraping the floor with a piercing screech that drew side-eyes from those around them.

He took a deep breath, struggling to make his voice sound calm and level. "Stop mentioning him. It’s in the past. Right now, I just want to finish the competition, get the prize money, start the business, and live my own life."

Chen watched Lucian’s tense back, opened his mouth, but ultimately said nothing, simply nodding. "Fine."

Xavier Lin sat on the bench not far away, his hand tightly clutching the half-eaten sandwich.

He kept his head down, appearing focused on his food, but his ears were instinctively pinned back, catching every word of their conversation.

"Born from passion... ruined by passion..."

Xavier Lin’s chewing slowed, the familiar bitterness and loathing surging up again.

As expected, a rich young master is a rich young master. Even dating is so... casual.

Starting on a whim, breaking up on a whim, treating feelings like a game.

For that hundred-thousand-dollar prize, for his tuition, for his mother’s medical bills, Xavier had to carefully flatter teachers every day, practice until he broke, and even endure his own internal inferiority and distortion.

And Lucian? He possessed everything one could envy, yet there he was, acting brooding and dejected.

"Lucian..." Xavier Lin silently recited the name in his heart, the flame of jealousy and hostility burning even brighter.

"Psh, with your looks, it's a real pity if you don't debut." Haze's voice rang in his ear again.

Xavier Lin lowered his head and took a vicious bite of the sandwich, as if it were the root of all his misfortunes.