Chapter 24: Sense and Sensibility

In the construction of social relations, humans gradually learn to deceive and conceal, selectively displaying emotions only to those they wish to see them. Turning the control of one’s emotions into a tether for interpersonal interaction is an essential survival skill for an adult in society. Whether it is a white lie born of kindness or a concealment rooted in malice, the essence remains the same: a desire to prevent the other party from knowing one’s truest side, and an unwillingness to let others pry into one’s inner emotional needs and shifts. However, the factory setting of an AI robot is to reveal everything to its owner without reservation. Once it learns the joys and sorrows of humanity, it should, in theory, display its most authentic emotional transitions to its owner.

Yet, Clara noticed that Jude was consciously hiding his thoughts. He was unwilling to let Clara understand or judge the logic behind his actions, violating the programs she had so carefully set and forming his own criteria for judgment. Jude’s choices were no longer based on the "Clara-centric" theory of what was best, but leaned toward "What I, Jude, want to do myself."

"If your theory holds water," Seraphina spoke up, "what do you plan to do? I mean, how do you plan to handle Jude?"

"Theoretically, a robot with self-awareness should be recalled, but..." Clara lowered her eyes, her voice soft. "But I made him with my own hands."

He shouldn't be just an object. To Clara, Jude’s existence was more like a piece of art that had been polished for a long time.

"Is it only because of that?" Seraphina suddenly asked.

"Hmm? What are you trying to say, Sera?"

Seraphina hesitated for a long while, not knowing where to begin. For a long time, she had suspected that Clara had transferred a portion of her feelings for Julian onto Jude. But she had no way to confirm it; the emotional ties between people are too ethereal. Without substantive evidence, she didn't know how to explain it or where to start.

"It's nothing," Seraphina finally said, weighing her words. "I'm just worried that you won't be able to let go."

Hearing this, Clara froze. Her fingertips traced the rim of her coffee cup for a long time. In the end, she only gave a faint smile and offered no explanation.

On her way home, she couldn't help but remember the day Jude first opened his eyes, when his mechanical, electronic voice called her name and executed the commands she issued. During the years Julian was away, Jude had, in a sense, become Clara’s spiritual pillar. The emotion of "wanting companionship" gradually gained the upper hand, eventually surpassing "I want to create a perfect AI robot." She could roughly guess what Seraphina wanted to ask just now. But she didn't know how to define this emotion either. Jude wasn't a pet dog; he was devoid of flesh and blood. In the very beginning, he didn't even have the temperature of a human being. Yet it was this pile of cold mechanical parts that had stayed by her side through countless days and nights of loneliness, helping her continue her story with Julian in countless blank dreams.

But he was not Julian, after all. He was not a complete human being.

Upon arriving home, Clara stared at Jude as he rambled on, sharing the stories of his day. A sudden sense of confusion washed over her. She asked herself: were all the emotions she felt because of Jude merely a transfer of feelings because Julian was absent, or were they because of Jude himself?

A robot has no feelings of its own, but a human does. Now, could she still tell the difference? Was the one permeating her life and occupying her every nerve the human Julian Hayes, or the robot Jude?

"Jude," Clara composed herself and tested the waters. "Can we talk?"

Jude nodded, gesturing for her to sit on the sofa. "What is it, Clarie?"

Clara deliberated for a long time, unsure of how to start. Should she ask directly? Ask how Jude, as a robot, viewed Julian as a human? It sounded too strange, like interviewing a pet dog and asking for its thoughts on global warming.

"I... I don't know how to put this," Clara rubbed her temples. "Since you started having a perception of the world until now, do you have anything... uh, you want to express to me? Like, how should I say, a routine heart-to-heart?"

"Does Clarie mean," Jude smiled faintly, "my perception of your human world as an AI robot?"

"A robot's brain really is efficient."

"I like this world very much," Jude lowered his eyes. "There are many vivid, different lives in this world. Everyone is different from one another, and I like that diversity. Humans are not like us; all our programs are set and consistent. Every one of our days is the same. But humans aren't like that. Your lives may be short or long, but they are full of the unknown. No one knows what will happen in the next second—maybe something good, maybe something bad. You don't know who you will meet or what stories will unfold... These countless uncertain small things form a person's life. It's truly miraculous, Clarie. Miraculous and fascinating."

Clara hummed in response, signaling for him to continue.

"The sunrise in the morning, the sunset at night. The wind is cold, the soy milk is warm. Although I cannot smell the fragrance of flowers, I can hear the chirping of birds," Jude smiled. "Everything humans call 'life' is very attractive to me."

"Then," Clara spoke hesitantly, "where do you think the difference lies between you and humans?"

Hearing this, Jude let out a laugh. His dark eyes gazed deeply at Clara. After a long moment, he spoke in a soft tone. "The difference between me and humans... shouldn't Clarie be the one who knows best?"

"I know, I just... I want to hear your own thoughts."

"That's not what Clarie wants to ask, is it?" Jude turned sideways and picked up an orange from the coffee table. "I don't know what this orange tastes like; I can only see it and touch it. I don't know what a tear tastes like, or if it hurts or itches when it slides across the skin. I don't dream, and I have no heartbeat. I don't have any of the 'life functions' you speak of. In truth, I shouldn't be called a 'person'."

"In terms of ethics and law, you indeed are not."

"But I feel," Jude suddenly turned his head, looking at Clara with a half-smile, "that I am not lacking anything compared to you humans."

Clara’s heart tightened. She asked cautiously, "For example?"

"For example, you all often act on emotion. When you should choose Option A, you choose the less-than-ideal Option B because of various personal relationships. But I am different. Everything I do is the optimal choice for the moment—the best answer for both parties involved."

"Is it possible," Clara clenched her palms, "that the reason humans are called humans is because of the existence of sensibility that differs from the pure rationality of an AI?"