"He Asked Me To Kill Him" Chapter 34 Things That Terrify Immortals
The safehouse belonged to one of Morvena’s old smuggling networks.
A forgotten hunting cabin hidden beyond Vienna’s northern outskirts where pine forests swallowed the roads completely once snow started falling heavily enough.
Lucien hated it immediately.
Not because the cabin was unsafe.
Because it was too quiet.
And silence gave fear room to breathe.
Seraphina sat near the fireplace wrapped in one of his coats while melted snow dripped slowly from her boots onto the wooden floorboards below.
Neither of them had spoken much during the drive out of the city.
The aftermath of the alley still clung to both of them like smoke.
Blood.
Sirens.
Jonas collapsing against frozen pavement.
Lucien knelt beside the fireplace now rebuilding the flames with the kind of precise concentration people used when avoiding thoughts sharp enough to injure them.
Seraphina watched him quietly from the couch.
That had become a problem too.
Watching him.
Noticing things.
The slight stiffness in his shoulders tonight.
The deeper exhaustion beneath his eyes.
The way his hands still carried faint bloodstains despite washing them twice already.
“You’re thinking too loudly again,” Lucien murmured without looking up.
Seraphina leaned her head back against the couch cushion.
“You say that like it’s a measurable sound.”
“For you, it usually is.”
“That’s invasive.”
“You’re emotionally dramatic.”
“Coming from a six-hundred-year-old man brooding over firelight?”
Lucien finally glanced toward her.
A faint tired smile touched his mouth briefly.
“There she is.”
The relief hidden quietly underneath the sentence nearly hurt.
Because he’d been worried.
Not about physical injuries anymore.
About her.
The realization settled softly between them while firelight spread warmer through the cabin.
Seraphina lowered her gaze toward her hands resting inside the oversized sleeves of his coat.
Clean now.
No blood left.
Didn’t matter.
She still felt it there somehow.
Lucien noticed the shift in her expression immediately.
Of course he did.
He crossed toward the couch afterward carrying two steaming mugs.
“You made tea?”
“It’s mostly medicinal herbs.”
“That’s not tea.”
“It’s emotional support tea.”
She accepted the mug anyway.
Their fingers brushed briefly during the exchange.
Cold skin.
Warm ceramic.
The contrast sent something strange through her chest again.
God.
Everything with him felt loaded now.
The cabin settled quieter around them while snow battered softly against the windows outside.
Somewhere deep in the forest, tree branches groaned beneath accumulating ice.
Lucien sat beside her eventually.
Not too close.
Never assuming closeness anymore.
The space between them felt deliberate now.
Respectful.
Which somehow made wanting him worse.
Seraphina stared into the steam rising from the mug between both hands.
“I killed a man today.”
Lucien remained silent for several seconds.
Not avoiding the statement.
Honoring it.
“Yes,” he said softly.
The honesty grounded her more than comfort would have.
“I keep waiting to feel justified.”
“You might not.”
“That’s reassuring.”
Lucien leaned back slightly against the couch.
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“Most decent people don’t adapt to killing easily.”
The sentence landed heavily because Lucien spoke from experience too old to fully imagine.
Seraphina glanced sideways toward him.
“How many people have you killed?”
Lucien’s gaze drifted toward the fire.
Too many memories behind it suddenly.
“Enough to know the number stops mattering eventually.”
Something inside her tightened.
Not fear.
Sadness.
Because he said it like regret fossilized long ago into something permanent.
The fire cracked softly between them.
Outside, snow buried the world deeper into silence.
Seraphina curled one leg slightly beneath herself against the couch cushions while exhaustion dragged heavily at her bones now that adrenaline finally faded.
Lucien noticed that too.
“You’re shaking again.”
“I’m cold.”
Without a word, Lucien reached for the blanket folded beside the fireplace and draped it carefully around her shoulders.
The movement should not have felt intimate.
Everything with him did now.
“You know what the worst part is?” she asked quietly.
Lucien looked toward her.
“I understand why Jonas believed he was right.”
The confession hung painfully between them afterward.
Because that was the true horror of fanaticism.
Not monsters.
People convinced cruelty qualified as salvation.
Lucien’s expression softened slightly.
“That understanding is exactly why you’re different from them.”
Seraphina laughed weakly under her breath.
“I stabbed a man through the ribs.”
“You cried afterward.”
The answer arrived immediately.
Simple.
Absolute.
Lucien looked at her like the distinction mattered.
Like compassion still counted even after violence.
Seraphina looked down at the tea again because suddenly her chest hurt too much.
“You make everything complicated.”
A faint smile touched his face.
“I’ve been accused of worse.”
“No, I mean it.” She looked back toward him finally. “You’re supposed to be easy to hate.”
Lucien’s eyes darkened slightly in the firelight.
“I know.”
“And instead you…” She exhaled sharply. “You make soup.”
That actually made him laugh softly.
Low.
Warm.
God.
That sound was becoming genuinely dangerous to her emotional stability.
The laughter faded slowly afterward, leaving something quieter behind.
Lucien studied the fire for a long moment before speaking again.
“When you disappeared this morning,” he said quietly, “I thought Aldric had found you first.”
Seraphina stilled.
The admission sounded too raw to ignore.
Lucien rested both forearms loosely against his knees now, gaze fixed somewhere beyond the flames.
“I spent six centuries surviving things that should’ve destroyed me.”
His voice remained calm.
Too calm.
“But today,” he continued softly, “I realized there are worse things than dying.”
The room felt very still afterward.
Seraphina watched him carefully.
Lucien rarely spoke emotionally without purpose.
When he did, the honesty carried weight heavy enough to bruise.
“What things?” she asked quietly.
His eyes finally lifted toward hers.
Fear lived there now.
Real fear.
Not for himself.
“For a few hours this morning,” Lucien said, “I genuinely believed I was going to find your body instead of you.”
The confession hit harder than the kiss.
Because this wasn’t desire.
It was terror.
Ancient, exhausted terror from someone who had already lost too many people across too many lifetimes.
Seraphina’s throat tightened painfully.
Lucien looked away first this time.
Toward the fire.
Toward memory.
“I didn’t handle that realization particularly well.”
The understatement nearly made her smile despite everything.
Instead, she set the untouched tea carefully onto the table beside the couch.
Then moved.
Slowly enough he could stop her if he wanted.
Lucien looked up just as Seraphina shifted closer beside him beneath the blanket.
No hesitation now.
No panic.
Just tired honesty.
His arm wrapped around her carefully once she settled against his side.
Instinctive.
Protective.
Like holding her had already become natural.
Seraphina rested her head lightly against his chest afterward and listened to the strange quiet rhythm beneath his ribs.
Not human heartbeat.
Something slower.
Older.
And somehow deeply comforting anyway.
The fire burned low around them while snow continued falling heavily outside the cabin windows.
Neither spoke again for a long time.
They didn’t need to.
Lucien’s fingers moved absently through her hair once.
Then again.
Careful every time.
Seraphina’s exhaustion finally pulled harder than fear after that.
The last thing she remembered before sleep took her completely was Lucien pressing one quiet kiss against the top of her head like gratitude disguised as tenderness.
And long after her breathing evened out against his chest—
Lucien stayed awake beside the fire holding her gently in his arms with the kind of focus other people reserved for prayers they were terrified to lose.
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