"He Asked Me To Kill Him" Chapter 50 The Place Where Faith Died
Seraphina stopped trusting silence sometime around sunset.
Because silence now meant hidden files.
Buried bodies.
People she loved lying convincingly for years while calling it protection.
The apartment no longer felt safe after the journal.
Every room carried ghosts now.
Her mother sitting at the kitchen table pretending everything remained normal while secretly preparing evidence against the Church.
Lucien offering sanctuary years before Seraphina even knew his face.
Aldric smiling during funeral rites already knowing Helena died because she discovered too much.
God.
The funeral.
That memory surfaced suddenly sharp enough to hurt physically.
Seraphina standing beside a polished black coffin at nineteen years old while Church officials praised sacrifice and honor and divine service.
Aldric resting one hand against her shoulder afterward.
Your mother died protecting humanity.
Lie.
Everything was a lie.
The realization hollowed her out completely.
She left the apartment before midnight without fully deciding where she intended going.
Snow fell steadily across Prague while cathedral bells echoed softly above crowded streets and tourists moved through Christmas markets beneath glowing lights completely unaware entire belief systems were collapsing overhead.
Seraphina walked for nearly an hour.
No destination.
No plan.
Just movement.
Because standing still meant thinking.
And thinking kept replaying one final detail from Helena’s journal over and over again:
Matthias warned me too late.
Matthias Van Helsing.
Her father.
The former High Commander.
The man who spent years teaching Seraphina that duty mattered more than emotion.
The man who never looked her directly in the eyes after Helena died.
Oh God.
No.
No no no.
Her father knew too.
Maybe not everything.
Maybe not from the beginning.
But enough.
Enough to warn Helena.
Enough to understand the Church murdered his wife.
And still—
he stayed.
The betrayal cracked something fundamental inside her chest.
Because Seraphina spent her entire life believing at least one thing remained real:
Her parents loved each other honestly.
Now even that memory felt contaminated by secrets.
By politics.
By fear.
Eventually her feet carried her somewhere familiar without conscious thought.
Saint Vitus Cathedral.
Of course.
The massive Gothic structure towered above the snowy city like something carved directly from judgment itself while stained-glass windows glowed faintly beneath moonlight.
Seraphina stared up at the cathedral steps for several long seconds.
Then laughed once quietly under her breath.
“Fantastic,” she muttered. “Emotional collapse in the world’s most symbolic location.”
The cathedral doors remained unlocked.
They always did.
Faith loved appearing accessible even while hiding knives underneath the altar.
The interior stood nearly empty this late at night.
Only scattered candlelight illuminated enormous stone arches overhead while distant choir music drifted faintly through hidden speakers somewhere deeper inside the church.
Seraphina walked slowly down the central aisle past rows of empty pews.
Her boots echoed softly against marble floors.
God.
She hated this place suddenly.
Not because it looked cruel.
Because it looked beautiful.
That was worse.
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The Church built gorgeous things around horrifying lies.
She stopped near the altar eventually.
Not praying.
Just standing there beneath massive stained-glass saints while snowlight filtered through colored glass across the floor.
Her mother used to bring her here as a child.
Not for sermons.
For quiet.
Helena hated most clergy but loved old cathedrals.
Said sacred places should belong to people, not institutions.
Another memory surfaced unexpectedly afterward.
Seraphina at maybe fourteen years old asking why her mother never took communion anymore.
Helena smiling sadly before answering:
“Because faith and obedience aren’t the same thing, sweetheart.”
At the time Seraphina thought the answer sounded poetic.
Now it sounded terrified.
The realization finally broke her.
Not dramatically.
Quietly.
One second she stood motionless beneath cathedral light.
The next her knees hit the marble floor hard enough pain shot upward through her legs.
And suddenly she couldn’t stop crying.
Not graceful tears.
Not cinematic grief.
Ugly exhausted sobbing dragged out of somewhere buried too long beneath discipline and training and survival instincts.
Because her mother died alone trying to tell the truth.
Because her father helped bury it.
Because Blackthorn turned love into secrecy until nobody survived honesty anymore.
Because Lucien probably carried all of this silently for years while watching Seraphina worship the very institution that murdered Helena.
God.
How lonely had that been?
Seraphina pressed one shaking hand against her mouth trying unsuccessfully to quiet the sound.
Didn’t matter.
The cathedral swallowed grief beautifully.
Huge sacred spaces always did.
Time blurred afterward.
Maybe minutes.
Maybe longer.
Eventually footsteps echoed softly somewhere behind her.
Slow.
Familiar.
Seraphina didn’t turn around.
Didn’t need to.
Lucien stopped several feet away near the first row of pews.
Not approaching immediately.
Giving her space even now.
Always space.
That somehow made the tears worse.
For a long moment neither spoke.
Only candlelight flickering softly across stone pillars and Seraphina’s uneven breathing breaking the cathedral silence apart piece by piece.
Then Lucien said quietly:
“I looked for you everywhere else first.”
The confession hurt.
Because she could hear the panic hidden carefully underneath it.
Seraphina laughed weakly through tears.
“Sorry to disappoint you. I chose emotional symbolism.”
Lucien moved closer after that.
Slowly enough not to startle her.
Carefully enough to let her stop him anytime.
He lowered himself beside her on the cathedral floor without concern for expensive coats or sacred marble or anything except proximity.
Seraphina stared ahead toward the altar while wiping furiously at her face.
“I hate this,” she whispered.
Lucien’s voice remained soft.
“I know.”
“No, I mean all of it.” Her breathing broke again. “The Church. Blackthorn. My father.” She swallowed hard. “I don’t know what’s real anymore.”
The words echoed quietly upward through the cathedral arches.
Lucien sat beside her in silence for several seconds before answering.
“You’re real.”
God.
That nearly shattered her completely.
Because he said it immediately.
No hesitation.
Like the answer had always been obvious to him.
Seraphina finally looked sideways toward him then.
Lucien watched her with unbearable patience beneath stained-glass light spilling blue and gold across his face.
No judgment.
No pressure.
Just grief shared quietly between two people too exhausted to hide from it anymore.
“My mother trusted you,” she whispered.
Lucien’s expression changed instantly.
Not surprise.
Pain.
“Yes.”
“You knew she was going to expose Aldric.”
Another pause.
Then:
“Yes.”
Seraphina closed her eyes hard.
“Did you know they’d kill her?”
Lucien looked toward the altar instead of her.
And suddenly the silence answered first.
Too long.
Too heavy.
When he finally spoke, his voice sounded rougher than usual.
“I knew it was possible.”
There it was.
The final fracture.
Because suddenly Seraphina understood the full horrifying truth:
Everyone knew danger surrounded Helena.
Her mother knew.
Lucien knew.
Her father knew.
And somehow none of them stopped it in time.
The grief inside her twisted violently afterward.
“I can’t do this anymore,” she whispered brokenly.
Lucien looked at her immediately.
“Do what?”
“Keep losing people to systems that call themselves holy.”
The cathedral fell silent again.
Then very quietly—
with tears still slipping down her face beneath stained-glass saints and candle smoke—
Seraphina leaned sideways against him.
Not because anything was fixed.
Not because trust magically returned.
Because grief became too heavy to carry upright alone anymore.
Lucien wrapped one arm around her carefully after a moment.
And long after midnight bells faded across Prague—
he stayed there on the cathedral floor holding her while faith finished dying quietly between them.
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