"He Asked Me To Kill Him" Chapter 75 The Shape of Choosing
The thing climbing through the Gate did not belong in the world.
That was the first thought Seraphina had.
Not monster.
Not creature.
Wrong.
Its shape shifted constantly behind the widening fracture above Prague, too large for the cathedral chamber to fully contain, like reality itself struggled translating it into something human eyes could survive looking at directly.
Every time it moved, the Gate screamed louder.
The reactor pulsed beneath the cathedral floor like a failing heart.
And all around them—
people kept dying anyway.
Alliance fighters screamed through the reliquary corridors.
Church execution squads fired silver rounds into infected swarms spilling upward from the collapsing crypts.
The world did not pause politely for impossible decisions.
God.
Seraphina wished it would.
Lucien still stood directly in front of her.
Protective even now.
One arm slightly extended across her instinctively like his body still believed it could physically shield her from prophecy itself.
The corruption had spread farther while they argued.
Black veins twisted visibly across his jaw now, disappearing beneath his collar like roots consuming something beautiful from the inside.
And still—
still—
his first instinct remained protecting her.
Aldric watched them quietly from beside the reactor platform.
Not smiling anymore.
Almost reverent now.
Like even he understood the cruelty of what came next.
“The Gate cannot remain open,” he said softly over the chaos. “Every minute it widens, the corruption spreads farther.”
Seraphina barely heard him.
Because her mind kept circling the same horrifying realization repeatedly:
If she chose humanity—
Lucien died.
Not eventually.
Not metaphorically.
Gone.
If she chose Lucien—
the Gate remained.
Immortality remained.
The corruption remained.
And someday another Aldric would try this again.
God.
How was anyone supposed to survive a choice like this without becoming something unrecognizable afterward?
Lucien turned toward her slowly.
His expression had changed.
The panic was gone now.
That frightened her more than anything else.
No.
Because Seraphina knew exactly what replaced it.
Decision.
The same terrible calm he wore every time he accepted pain privately before anyone else could argue him out of it.
“Don’t,” she whispered immediately.
Lucien’s gaze softened.
God.
That look.
Like he already loved her enough forgiving her for something she hadn’t even done yet.
“You already know,” he said quietly.
Seraphina shook her head hard.
“No.”
The reactor chamber trembled violently again.
Part of the cathedral ceiling collapsed somewhere behind them while crimson light flooded the reliquary ruins beneath the Gate.
Still Lucien looked only at her.
“You once asked me what immortality feels like after enough centuries.”
Seraphina’s throat tightened painfully.
Lucien smiled faintly.
Not happy.
Just tired in a way no human being could survive long.
“It feels like watching the world bury everyone softer than you.”
The words settled heavily between them.
“I watched kindness become extinction repeatedly,” he continued quietly. “Empires. sanctuaries. families.” His jaw tightened slightly beneath the corruption. “Every generation thinks they can control fear better than the last.”
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Aldric closed his eyes briefly nearby.
Because he knew Lucien was right.
God.
That was the worst part.
Everyone inside this cathedral believed they were saving humanity somehow.
Lucien reached carefully toward Seraphina’s face then.
His fingertips trembled slightly against her cheek.
Not from fear anymore.
Weakness.
No.
Seraphina grabbed his wrist immediately like she could physically stop the moment from continuing.
“We’ll find another way.”
Lucien’s expression cracked softly.
“You still say things like that.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means,” he whispered, “you still believe survival and mercy can coexist.”
Tears blurred her vision instantly.
“Don’t talk like you’re already gone.”
Lucien looked at her for several long seconds afterward.
And suddenly Seraphina realized something devastating:
He wasn’t afraid anymore.
Not because the situation improved.
Because he finally decided what mattered most.
God no.
“You can’t ask me to do this.”
The reactor pulsed violently overhead.
The thing behind the Gate moved closer.
Lucien swallowed once before answering.
“I know.”
“You can’t tell me to sacrifice you for the world and expect me to survive that afterward.”
Something agonized flickered across his face then.
Finally.
Finally some visible crack in the impossible composure.
“You think I want this?”
His voice roughened sharply.
For one brief moment the exhaustion and grief and terror inside him finally surfaced fully.
“I spent centuries not fearing death,” he said quietly. “Then I met you and suddenly losing one lifetime became unbearable.”
Seraphina’s chest hurt so badly she could barely breathe.
Lucien leaned closer slowly until his forehead rested against hers again beneath the screaming red light.
“But if you choose me,” he whispered, “this never ends.”
The truth of it hollowed her out instantly.
Because she knew.
God help her—
she knew.
The corruption.
The Gate.
The cycle of immortality feeding endlessly on fear and grief and power.
Lucien wasn’t asking her to choose humanity over him.
He was asking her not to become another person who justified catastrophe because love made exceptions feel reasonable.
And somehow that made it crueler.
Seraphina started crying quietly before realizing it happened.
Not dramatic sobbing.
Just exhausted grief leaking silently out of a body finally breaking under too much impossible emotion.
Lucien watched her like the sight physically hurt him.
It probably did.
Around them, the reactor chamber continued collapsing deeper into chaos.
Cassian shouted evacuation orders from somewhere below while sanctuary fighters desperately tried containing the widening breach.
The world was ending.
And still all Seraphina could think was:
I don’t know how to exist without you in it.
Lucien brushed tears gently from beneath one of her eyes using bloodstained fingers.
The tenderness nearly destroyed her completely.
“You once told me love was choice,” he said softly.
Seraphina closed her eyes hard.
Lucien’s voice shook slightly for the first time.
“So choose the world.”
God.
No.
The sentence landed like physical violence.
Seraphina actually staggered backward a step afterward.
Lucien immediately reached toward her instinctively—
then stopped himself halfway.
Even now.
Even asking her to sacrifice him—
he still tried giving her space to decide freely.
The horror of loving someone this good felt unbearable suddenly.
“I hate you,” she whispered brokenly.
A faint devastated smile crossed his face.
“I know.”
“You don’t get to make me into the person who kills you.”
Lucien looked at her quietly beneath the screaming crimson sky.
Then finally:
“If it helps,” he whispered, “I think you became the person who saved me a long time ago.”
The reactor shook violently enough the cathedral floor cracked open beneath them.
And somewhere beyond the Gate—
something ancient finally stepped fully into the red light.
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