"He Asked Me To Kill Him" Chapter 85 The Girl Who Woke Up Different
Seraphina woke up to the sound of someone arguing quietly in the next room.
At first, she thought she was back in the Order dormitories.
The rhythm felt familiar somehow—low voices, exhausted tension, someone pacing while pretending not to panic.
Then her senses sharpened all at once.
Too sharp.
She could hear the uneven scrape of boots against wooden floors downstairs.
A kettle beginning to whistle three rooms away.
Rain tapping softly against distant windows.
And underneath everything—
heartbeats.
God.
Seraphina opened her eyes immediately.
The ceiling above her looked unfamiliar. Dark wooden beams crossed overhead, and soft morning light filtered through pale curtains beside the bed. The room smelled faintly like smoke, old paper, and antiseptic herbs.
Not the cathedral.
Not Prague.
Not dead.
Her body reacted before her thoughts fully caught up. She sat up too quickly, and dizziness slammed into her hard enough she grabbed the edge of the mattress to steady herself.
The movement triggered another realization instantly.
Her heartbeat was gone.
No.
Panic rose sharply through her chest before she forced herself breathing slowly.
Not breathing.
God.
The silence inside her own body felt wrong in a way she couldn’t describe properly.
She lifted trembling hands slowly.
Paler.
Not dramatically. Just enough that she noticed.
Her senses kept pulling information toward her whether she wanted it or not. She could smell rainwater soaked into the old wooden walls. Dust beneath the wardrobe. Blood.
Human blood.
Close.
Someone moved outside the room immediately afterward.
Then the door opened.
Lucien stopped in the doorway the moment he saw her awake.
For several seconds neither of them spoke.
God.
He looked terrible.
Not monstrous anymore. The wings and shadows and eldritch horror had faded weeks ago along with the partial collapse of the Gate. But exhaustion still lived visibly inside him now.
Dark circles beneath his eyes.
Black veins faintly lingering beneath pale skin near his throat.
And something else.
Fear.
Not fear of enemies.
Her.
No.
Lucien stayed perfectly still beside the doorway like sudden movement might frighten her somehow.
“You’re awake.”
His voice sounded careful.
Too careful.
Seraphina stared at him.
Then quietly:
“How long?”
Lucien hesitated briefly.
“Three weeks.”
God.
The number hit harder than expected.
Fragments returned slowly after that.
The cathedral collapsing.
Blood in the snow.
The transformation.
Lucien carrying her.
Then nothing.
Seraphina swallowed carefully.
“The war?”
Lucien stepped farther into the room now, though slowly enough giving her time to react if she needed space.
“It stopped spreading after the reactor collapsed.” He paused near the bed. “Most of the Gate creatures died when the connection destabilized.”
“Most.”
The word settled heavily between them.
Lucien nodded once.
“There are still outbreaks in isolated regions.” His jaw tightened faintly. “But Prague survived.”
Survived.
The city barely existed by the end.
Still—
survived.
Seraphina looked down at her hands again.
Then finally asked the question sitting like ice inside her chest.
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“What am I now?”
Silence filled the room briefly.
Lucien lowered himself carefully into the chair beside the bed afterward, elbows resting lightly against his knees like someone trying very hard not looking threatening.
God.
That hurt more than if he’d acted normal.
“You’re you,” he said quietly.
“Lucien.”
Something painful crossed his face.
“You’re immortal.”
The word landed strangely.
Not shocking.
Not even wrong.
Just heavy.
Seraphina leaned back slowly against the pillows trying processing the absence inside her chest where her heartbeat used to live.
“I can hear everything.”
“That’ll calm down eventually.”
“I smelled blood before you opened the door.”
Lucien’s gaze flickered away for half a second.
God.
That tiny movement told her enough already.
“The hunger,” she whispered.
Lucien nodded slowly.
“It’s strongest early.”
Seraphina laughed weakly under her breath.
“This is such a terrible orientation program.”
A faint exhausted smile appeared on his face automatically.
“There used to be manuals.”
“Seriously?”
“They were deeply pretentious.”
That sounded believable honestly.
The silence afterward felt different.
Not awkward.
Careful.
Both of them circling the same fear without touching it directly yet.
Seraphina studied him quietly.
“You almost died.”
Lucien looked mildly offended immediately.
“That feels exaggerated.”
“You collapsed in the snow coughing black blood.”
“Ah.” He considered briefly. “When you phrase it like that, slightly concerning.”
Despite herself, Seraphina smiled.
God.
The relief on Lucien’s face happened so quickly he probably didn’t even realize it showed.
Like part of him still expected her waking up hating him somehow.
No.
Seraphina’s throat tightened painfully.
“You really thought I wouldn’t choose you.”
Lucien looked down at his hands for a long moment before answering.
“I thought loving me enough becoming this would eventually feel like a mistake.”
There it was.
The real fear.
Not the monster.
Never the monster.
Abandonment.
God.
Seraphina pushed herself upright slowly despite lingering weakness.
Lucien immediately leaned forward instinctively.
“You should rest.”
“You say that like you haven’t been sitting beside this bed for three weeks.”
His silence answered loudly enough.
Seraphina stared at him.
“Lucien.”
He rubbed one hand tiredly across his face.
“You stopped breathing twice.”
Oh.
God.
No wonder he looked destroyed.
The room went quiet again except for rain against the windows.
Then softly—
almost embarrassed—
Lucien admitted:
“I wasn’t especially rational during the first week.”
Seraphina snorted weakly.
“You ripped apart half a cathedral because I got stabbed.”
“In fairness, the cathedral was already structurally compromised.”
That actually made her laugh.
Small sound.
Still enough.
Lucien watched her with the kind of focus other people reserved for miracles.
God.
Seraphina suddenly realized something strange.
She could feel him now more clearly than before.
Not thoughts.
Presence.
Emotion moving faintly beneath the bond between them.
Relief.
Exhaustion.
Love so constant it almost blended into the background until she focused directly on it.
And underneath all of that—
terror he still hadn’t fully let go of.
She reached toward him slowly.
Lucien froze immediately.
Still giving her complete control.
Always.
Seraphina touched his hand gently.
“I’m still here.”
The sentence nearly broke him.
She saw it happen in real time.
His shoulders loosening slightly.
The tension around his mouth disappearing.
Like some part of him still hadn’t believed survival was real until hearing her say it aloud.
Lucien turned his hand carefully beneath hers afterward until their fingers intertwined naturally.
Warm.
God.
His hands felt warm now.
Or maybe hers no longer did.
Outside, rain continued falling softly over a wounded city slowly trying learning how existing after apocalypse worked.
And inside the quiet room above the old safehouse—
Seraphina sat beside the man she chose anyway while immortality settled slowly into her bones like something terrifying, permanent, and strangely alive.
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