"He Asked Me To Kill Him" Chapter 93 The Part Of Herself She Stops Fighting
The blood washed out of her coat eventually.
Mostly.
Lucien spent twenty minutes trying removing the silver residue from the shoulder wound afterward while pretending he wasn’t still furious about her stepping in front of a rifle for him.
“It barely pierced the muscle.”
“You were shot.”
“You got stabbed through the stomach six months ago.”
“That is not the standard we should build our relationship around.”
Fair honestly.
Now, three days later, Seraphina stood alone in the underground training hall beneath the safehouse with a silver knife spinning absently between her fingers.
The room smelled like old stone and weapon oil and dust disturbed by too many years of violence.
Home, in a strange unfortunate way.
She used to train here as a hunter.
Back when the world still made sense in clean categories.
Monster.
Human.
Holy.
Corrupt.
God.
She almost missed being naive.
The knife flashed once more through her hand before she threw it hard enough embedding the blade deep into the far wooden target.
Direct center.
Good.
The hunger stirred quietly beneath her ribs afterward.
Not overwhelming anymore.
Present.
Alive.
Part of her now.
Seraphina leaned both hands against the edge of the weapons table and stared down at the dozens of silver blades laid neatly across the surface.
Hunter weapons.
Weapons designed killing creatures like her.
The thought should’ve hurt more.
Instead it just felt true.
She heard Lucien enter before he spoke.
His footsteps remained unfairly quiet for someone immortal and emotionally dramatic.
“You skipped breakfast.”
Seraphina glanced sideways.
Lucien stood near the doorway wearing rolled shirtsleeves and the exhausted expression of someone already forced listening to Cassian complain about reconstruction budgets before sunrise.
“Cassian started a political argument with the toaster again,” she said.
Lucien looked tired immediately.
“The toaster won.”
“Good for it.”
A small smile touched his mouth briefly before fading.
His gaze shifted toward the silver knives across the table.
Then toward the embedded blade in the target.
Then finally back to her.
“You’ve been down here every night this week.”
Not accusation.
Observation.
Seraphina looked away first this time.
God.
That old instinct still lingered sometimes.
“I needed remembering how this part of me worked.”
Lucien stayed quiet for several seconds.
Then slowly crossed the room toward her.
“You don’t have choosing between them.”
Seraphina laughed softly under her breath.
“That’s easy for you saying.”
“No,” Lucien replied gently. “It isn’t.”
The answer surprised her enough looking up again.
Lucien rested one hand lightly against the weapons table afterward, fingers brushing near old silver daggers without hesitation.
“I spent centuries trying separating the monster from the person,” he admitted quietly. “It doesn’t work.”
The underground hall fell silent around them except for distant rain rattling faintly through old pipes overhead.
Seraphina studied him carefully.
“You really believe both can exist together.”
Lucien met her gaze evenly.
“I believe pretending half of yourself doesn’t exist eventually destroys people.”
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God.
That landed harder than expected.
Because yes.
The Order built entire generations around denial. Hunters trained themselves into emotional starvation trying becoming pure enough defeating monsters without noticing how much cruelty survived comfortably inside holiness too.
And vampires—
the old vampire houses weren’t better.
They glorified hunger instead of controlling it.
Two extremes destroying people differently.
Seraphina picked up another silver knife slowly.
“I still feel guilty sometimes.”
“For surviving?”
“For liking what I’ve become occasionally.”
The confession settled heavily between them.
Lucien’s expression softened immediately.
“When?”
She hesitated.
Then answered honestly.
“My senses.” She spun the knife once absently between her fingers. “The strength. The healing.” Her jaw tightened faintly. “Sometimes I enjoy it before remembering I’m supposed to hate it.”
Lucien walked closer afterward until only a few feet separated them.
“You are allowed feeling powerful without apologizing for it.”
The simplicity of that sentence nearly hurt.
Because nobody ever taught her strength could exist without sacrifice attached.
Seraphina threw the second knife suddenly.
The blade buried itself directly beside the first.
Lucien watched the target thoughtfully.
“You’re overcompensating emotionally through accuracy again.”
“It’s called coping.”
“It’s called showing off.”
“Also true.”
A faint laugh escaped him.
God.
She loved that sound.
Before she could answer, the bond between them shifted sharply.
Wrong.
Lucien felt it too.
His entire posture changed instantly.
Footsteps echoed hard through the corridor outside.
Fast.
Unsteady.
Someone running.
Then shouting.
“Down!”
The warning came one second too late.
The underground training hall exploded inward as a sanctified charge detonated through the outer wall.
Stone shattered violently across the room.
Seraphina reacted before conscious thought caught up.
Hunter instincts.
Vampire speed.
Both.
She grabbed Lucien and shoved him sideways behind the weapons table as debris rained through the underground chamber.
Three attackers stormed through the dust immediately afterward wearing partial Church insignia beneath tactical armor.
Not the organized faction from the street attack earlier.
Worse.
Desperate remnants.
One look at their faces told her everything.
These weren’t soldiers anymore.
They were believers with nothing left except hatred.
The lead attacker raised a relic-loaded crossbow directly toward Lucien.
“Move away from it!”
Seraphina didn’t.
The hunter fired.
She caught the bolt out of the air.
The entire room froze.
God.
The attacker stared at her hand wrapped calmly around the sanctified projectile with open horror.
There it was.
The thing she finally understood.
Hunter and monster.
Both existed inside her now.
And for the first time—
she stopped apologizing for it.
The second attacker charged with a silver blade.
Seraphina moved instantly.
Not human-fast anymore.
Not vampire-feral either.
Controlled.
Precise.
The knife from the training target appeared suddenly in her hand as she twisted sideways, disarmed him, and drove the blade cleanly through his throat in one smooth movement.
Merciless.
The body hit the stone floor hard.
Blood spread instantly across old training marks beneath their feet.
Lucien stared at her.
Not afraid.
Never afraid.
But surprised anyway.
Because she didn’t hesitate.
The third attacker backed away immediately.
“She’s corrupted,” he whispered.
Seraphina turned toward him slowly.
“No,” she answered quietly. “I’m honest now.”
The surviving attacker lunged anyway.
Mistake.
Seraphina crossed the distance between them before he finished breathing.
Her hand closed around his wrist hard enough snapping bone instantly while the silver dagger in her other hand pressed directly beneath his jaw.
The hunter gasped in pain.
“You think hatred makes you holy?” she asked softly.
The man spat blood toward her boots.
“Monster.”
God.
Six months ago, that word would’ve shattered her.
Now it just sounded small.
Tired.
Seraphina looked directly into his terrified eyes.
Then calmly slit his throat.
Silence crashed through the ruined training hall afterward.
Dust still drifted slowly through broken stone and shattered weapon racks.
Lucien remained behind the overturned table watching her carefully.
Not judging.
Not comforting either.
Just seeing her fully.
The real her.
Seraphina looked down at the blood on her hands.
Then toward the dead hunters who once would’ve called her sister.
Nothing inside her fractured this time.
No identity crisis.
No panic.
Only clarity.
Hunter.
Immortal.
Protector.
Monster.
She had spent her whole life believing those things could not coexist in one person.
She was wrong.
Lucien stepped toward her slowly afterward through the dust and blood and ruined stone.
“You alright?”
The question sounded so ordinary it almost made her laugh.
Three bodies on the floor.
Half the wall missing.
And still—
you alright?
Seraphina looked at him for several long seconds.
Then finally answered honestly.
“Yes.”
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