"The Vow of Shattered Snow" Chapter 19
But this time, Gu Roujia didn't even move her fingers.
Julian’s heart sank little by little.
Roujia, do you hate me so much that you would rather sleep forever, rather never see Baobao, than wake up and see me?
"Is she sleeping?" Baobao asked.
Julian hummed in affirmation and picked Baobao up, saying: "From now on, you should call her Mommy..."
"Oh..." Baobao agreed. The sudden "Mommy" left her unsure of how to say it. Although she was looking forward to it, she had never met her, and Daddy said Mommy was sleeping and shouldn't be disturbed too much. Baobao could only watch longingly, thinking to herself: Why can you say so much, but I can't?
Julian received a phone call from the office and stepped outside. Baobao curiously leaned over the head of Gu Roujia’s bed, reached out with a chubby little finger, and gently poked Gu Roujia’s cheek. She checked vigilantly to see if Julian had returned; seeing he hadn't, she leaned close to Gu Roujia’s ear and whispered: "Mommy, wake up quickly, the sun is shining on your bottom..."
Gu Roujia’s fingers twitched. Baobao continued: "Mommy... Mommy... wake up quickly..."
No one noticed that the moment Baobao’s soft, sweet voice called out "Mommy," Gu Roujia’s finger jumped.
Her eyes slowly opened.
Chapter 38: I Beg You
When Julian returned, he saw Gu Roujia awake and froze in his tracks, surrounded by ecstasy: "Roujia... you... you’re awake?"
"I was the one who woke Mommy up!" Baobao raised her head, seeking credit from Julian. Gu Roujia looked over at the sound.
Baobao’s soft hair was tied into two little braids. With her grinning mouth and mischievous air, she was incredibly cute.
Was this her child?
When she was in a coma, although she couldn't move, her consciousness had sometimes felt very clear. She had heard what Julian said about the child. She had thought it was just a dream—she hadn't expected it all to be true.
"She, she is..." Her voice trembled.
"Roujia, this is the child you gave birth to five years ago."
She reached out with difficulty, wanting to touch Baobao. Baobao stood quietly. When Gu Roujia’s hand touched her, she pulled back as if electrified; the feeling that blood is thicker than water could not be wrong.
Gu Roujia couldn't help but tremble all over.
Julian hurriedly said: "Don't be excited, don't be excited. You just woke up, don't be too emotional... Doctor!" Julian ran to find the doctor himself. Gu Roujia and Baobao looked at each other; they shared 70% resemblance in their features. Gu Roujia didn't doubt it for a second, crying out with a sob: "My child..."
"Mommy!" Baobao threw herself into Gu Roujia’s arms. The doctor arrived to give Gu Roujia a comprehensive examination and told Julian there were no major issues—she just needed a good rest.
The heavy stone in Julian’s heart finally fell to the ground. As he met Gu Roujia’s eyes, he was filled with apology, while Gu Roujia, her memories returning, was only cold. The atmosphere fell into an oppressive silence.
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Julian had the assistant take the child outside.
"Roujia, I know I’ve done many wrong things. I’ve read your diary and investigated what Eva has done. For so many years, I misunderstood you. I’m sorry." Julian suddenly knelt on the floor. "I don't ask for anything else, only that you can forgive me, so we can give Baobao a complete family together."
Gu Roujia’s emotions suddenly flared up: "If you cared about the child, how could you bear to deceive me back then!"
"For the sake of the child, you shouldn't have lied to me—and lied to me for so many years!" Gu Roujia was so angry she cried. He didn't know that because of losing her first child, she had carried guilt for so many years, and then Julian had heartlessly aborted their second child. Who knew the pain in her heart?
Julian lowered his head, silent, his heart equally filled with agony.
"Do you know that because you lied to me, I lived in guilt for so many years!" Gu Roujia choked out.
When she woke up against all odds back then, only to be told the child was dead, no one could understand how much she blamed herself and how much pain she endured.
The pain of all these years was all because Julian decided she wasn't fit to be a mother.
Julian’s tone was sorrowful; his heart was full of guilt and self-reproach toward Gu Roujia. "You don't have to worry about me, but think about Baobao. We’ve both experienced life without parents by our side—do you want Baobao to be the same as you and me?"
Gu Roujia’s eyes flashed; whenever Baobao was mentioned, she didn't seem so resolute.
Julian didn't notice the change in her and continued: "I don't care how you look at me, call me names, hit me, or scold me—all of that is fine. But Baobao is innocent; you wouldn't want her to grow up in a single-parent family, would you?"
Gu Roujia shuddered. Let Baobao grow up in a single-parent family? How pathetic would that be? She didn't want Baobao to go through what she had experienced.
Baobao had never seen her mother since birth; she must be severely lacking maternal love. Gu Roujia looked back at Julian. Julian stared at her affectionately and slowly said: "Even if you don't intend to forgive me, for Baobao’s sake, I beg you, come back..."
"I can guarantee that from now on, I will never let you get hurt again, never abandon you again... There will be no more separation for us while alive, only death will part us..." Julian’s eyes were red. He truly hoped Gu Roujia could forgive him so they could live as they used to.
"I won't forgive you!" Gu Roujia said coldly. "I lived every day in guilt—guilt over my own carelessness, guilt over the fact that it was the fruit of our love. I feel sorry for you, but what did I get in return? You personally ended the life of our second child, and now I’ve escaped death several times myself. Julian, ask yourself, how can you expect me to forgive you?"
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Gu Roujia said all of this in one breath, venting her grievances. Yet, this didn't diminish her hatred for Julian; instead, she hated him even more.
Julian’s heart fell into an icy cellar. He knew how much Gu Roujia cared about the child. Even with Baobao brought into the conversation, she still refused. How firm her heart was.
"Since you know so much, you should also know about my body," Gu Roujia looked out the window. "I am a dying person. I want to ask you for one thing: in the remaining time, I only want to make up for my lack of presence with Baobao these past years."
Julian’s expression turned painful, but Gu Roujia remained indifferent.
"I don't want a life as complicated as it was when I was with you. I don't want to be involved in any strife. I just want to take Baobao and live a quiet, simple life until my life ends." Gu Roujia spoke very calmly, her tone indifferent. Julian could feel that aside from her reluctance to part with Baobao, she held no hope for life anymore.
"If you want to find some comfort for your guilty conscience, I hope you fulfill my wish and let me stay with Baobao for a while..."
Julian looked at Gu Roujia’s thin, frail appearance, just recovering from a major illness. Her dull eyes revealed her disappointment with life, sparkling only when she spoke of Baobao.
"I promise you!" He smiled bitterly. She said she was dying; this was her only wish, and he couldn't refuse.
Gu Roujia softly said, "Thank you."
Julian forced a smile. When had they become so distant that they even needed to say "thank you"?
Chapter 39: No Explanations
Every day, Julian had his assistant bring Baobao to spend time with Gu Roujia, but he never appeared himself.
Since Julian didn't come, Gu Roujia’s mood improved significantly. She felt very happy spending every day with Baobao; the child was all she cared about.
Gu Roujia would never know that just outside her room, a man stood silently, his deep gaze seemingly trying to pierce the wall to see her inside.
"Mr. Lin, why don't you tell Miss Gu everything? Actually, things are not as Miss Gu thinks." The assistant looked at the man in front of him—where was the high-spirited man of the past? He was covered in the heavy scent of alcohol, with dark circles under his eyes like a panda, looking utterly disheveled.
He had been by Julian’s side for many years; he was there when things happened back then.
When Gu Roujia fell down the stairs, the doctor told Julian to choose between saving the mother or the child, and Julian had chosen the mother.
He hadn't told Gu Roujia about the child because the baby had been suffocated in the womb and was sent to the sterile room for resuscitation the moment it was born. The doctors said the chances of survival were slim. Gu Roujia had just given birth, her body was weak, and she mistakenly believed the child had died, leaving her spirit and body on the verge of collapse.
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