"The Vow I Never Meant to Keep" Chapter 4
Julian's gaze turned dark and cold: "Clara Ke, this is the last time I’m asking you—is what you just said the truth?"
I knew that once some answers were given, the relationship between Julian and me would never be able to turn back.
But I answered anyway: "Yes."
Julian said nothing. He turned around and left.
The ward door slammed shut with a heavy "bang," a sound that felt as if it had crashed right into me.
All my disguises crumbled at that moment, and I hid under the blanket, sobbing loudly.
I cried all night, until my eyes were dry, until I had no strength left.
When dawn broke, I thought, perhaps this was enough.
Julian wouldn't have to feel wronged anymore, and no one else would criticize me.
For a while afterward, Julian did not come back.
Day after day, I repeated the process of IVs, chemotherapy, eating, and sleeping.
My entire being turned numb and hollow.
In the end, even the nurses suggested that I needed someone to look after me.
I had no choice but to tell my family about my illness.
My mother came that very night.
She sat by my bed, sobbing with snot and tears running down her face.
Looking at her, I felt that my mother still loved me.
I opened my mouth, wanting to comfort her, but my mother suddenly spoke: "Clara, tell Mom the truth. How much time do you have left?"
I paused, my hands slowly clenching: "If things improve, maybe another two or three years."
My mother fell silent for a moment. After wiping away her tears, she pulled a document out of her bag.
"Clara, Mom has looked into it. This brain tumor of yours is torturous. Instead of suffering like this, it’s better to just stop the treatment. I'll take care of you from now on."
"Just in case, sign this first, and transfer your apartment and car directly to your brother's name."
Chapter 7
My pupils shrank, and my ears began to buzz as if they had exploded.
I could not believe that these words had come from my own mother.
And seeing my younger brother’s signature already on the bottom of the contract, my hands began to tremble uncontrollably.
I couldn't tell if it was from anger or my illness.
My mother was startled by my state, yet she didn't forget to say: "Look at you, how can you take care of yourself now? Just sign the papers, and Mom will come take care of you every day..."
Before she could finish, the ward door was suddenly pushed open.
Immediately after, a cold voice rang out: "That won't be necessary. I will take care of Clara."
I turned my head abruptly.
Julian stood at the door, his expression chillingly stern.
How did he get here?
Before I could process it, Julian walked inside.
He placed the food box he was holding in front of me, casually took the contract, and then looked at my mother: "Mrs. Ke, it’s getting late, let me see you out."
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My mother hadn't achieved her goal, and she was clearly reluctant.
But seeing Julian’s icy demeanor, she couldn't help but feel afraid, so she stood up and left.
Unexpectedly, just as she reached the door, Julian called out to her again: "By the way, Mrs. Ke, the three hundred thousand you borrowed last time was supposed to be returned in ten days. Tomorrow is the last day, don't forget."
My mother shivered for no apparent reason, and without bothering with anything else, she hurried away.
Listening to this, I felt as if Julian had said that just to stand up for me.
But I didn't dare to be presumptuous.
It was only then that I realized the meal box Julian brought was from the same place the nurse had been buying from for me every day.
I understood immediately—all this time, even if Julian didn't show up on the surface, he had been keeping an eye on me.
Otherwise, he wouldn't have appeared so coincidentally today.
While I was lost in thought, Julian closed the door and sat down by the bedside: "You never told me your family treated you this way."
Hearing this, my heart felt like it had been struck, and the emotions were indescribable.
"What’s the use of saying it?" I pulled at the corners of my lips, but couldn't smile, "Gender bias is an incurable disease. It’s not that they don't love me at all; it’s just that they love my brother more."
Julian frowned and tore the contract into pieces, throwing them into the trash bin.
Watching his actions, I pinched my palms to maintain my composure, afraid that I would sink into his kindness again: "Didn't we agree last time that you wouldn't worry about me anymore?"
Julian paused for a moment before saying: "Clara, Felix told me that he came to visit you..."
Hearing this, my heart shook violently.
Since he knew about that, did he also know that I was in love with him?
Julian didn't know what I was thinking and continued on his own: "I’m sorry. I didn't know that night would make them misunderstand. I proposed marriage only because I wanted you to have something to hold onto so you could undergo treatment and stay alive."
My mind was in chaos, and I was afraid that if we kept talking, many secrets would be laid bare.
I interrupted: "You don't need to wrong yourself for my sake."
After saying that, I lowered my head and opened the food box, eating bit by bit.
Because of the chemotherapy, I could eat less and less, but now I was eating faster and faster, as if I could escape something by doing so.
The more Julian watched, the more worried he became, reaching out to take my chopsticks: "Enough, stop eating."
"Clara Ke!"
My hands were empty, and my heart felt empty too.
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I slowly looked up, meeting Julian’s clearly irritated face, and swallowed the last bite while enduring the churning in my stomach.
When I spoke again, my eyes burned and my voice was even hoarser.
Carried with a touch of "might as well give up" desperation.
"Julian, you... do you know that I’m in love with you?"
Julian paused, nodded with a complex look in his eyes: "Yes."
Chapter 8
Silence filled the ward.
I clenched my hands tightly, not knowing how much time passed before I spoke: "You must really regret being friends with me now."
Julian furrowed his brows: "Why do you say that?"
I took a deep breath: "Because the day I brought up the old promise, it wasn't a joke. It was because I loved you."
"I’m a selfish person. I planned to use my illness to make you pity me and be with me."
"I’m so despicable..."
Julian cut me off abruptly: "Clara Ke, why do you belittle yourself like this?"
"If you were truly selfish, you would have agreed immediately when I mentioned marriage."
My pupils trembled, and my heart shook along with them.
Yet, I still stubbornly used the worst thoughts to describe myself: "How do you know it wasn't 'playing hard to get'? Look, aren't you here looking for me now?"
"Stop it!" Julian stood up, even more irritated than before, "I know what kind of person you are."
This sentence brought tears to my eyes.
Enough.
At least the ten years of my secret crush didn't result in nothing. Julian understands me and has never misunderstood me.
That is enough.
Julian looked at my tears, and whatever emotions he had held in his heart dissipated.
He softened his tone: "Clara, as long as you undergo treatment properly, I will agree to anything."
"We are friends."
My breath hitched; my heart felt like it had been carved out.
In fact, I had understood what Julian meant a long time ago.
We are friends.
Even if I proposed marriage and he agreed, it wasn't because of love, but because of friendship!
But I didn't want to make myself seem so pathetic.
I reached up to wipe the tears from the corners of my eyes: "I do have one more wish."
"My thirtieth birthday is coming up soon. Will you help me host another birthday party?"
"And Nina, bring her too. I’ve been sick for so long, I haven't had a chance to officially meet her yet."
Julian hesitated: "You..."
I looked at him earnestly: "Julian, this really is my only wish left."
Julian pressed his thin lips together.
After a moment of silence, he nodded: "Alright, I promise you."
After speaking, he tucked the blanket around me before turning to leave.
He didn't know that as I watched his back, I shed tears once again.
He also didn't know that earlier this morning during the check-up, the doctor told me—
My cancer had metastasized.
Once it metastasizes, there is no need for further treatment.
That was why the nurse had told me to get someone to look after me.
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