I didn't confirm nor deny: "I saw you."

Julian’s heart felt a dull ache.

He couldn't believe that on the day he finally realized his true feelings, Clara had been right there beside him.

Yet they had brushed past each other, separated by five years.

If Lenoir Hospital hadn't happened to send Clara...

Julian tightened his fingers, gripping the seatbelt: "Was it true that if this coincidence hadn't happened, you never intended to see me again?"

I looked at him, pursing my lips, and didn't answer.

Julian couldn't see my expression, nor did he intend to: "Did you decide back then to leave everywhere I was, to let me live in regret until I died?"

He had originally thought his heart had long since shattered into pieces and wouldn't feel pain again.

But it turned out that a few simple sentences from me could make him experience that agony all over again.

The words fell, and silence filled the car for a long time.

After a while, I heard myself speak hesitantly: "I..."

Julian didn't let me finish, or rather, he was afraid to hear it.

He interrupted me directly: "Forget it. Don't say it. Little Bad and the others must be hungry; let's go up."

The final word was like a sigh.

He was afraid to hear my answer, stubbornly believing that if he didn't hear it, he wouldn't have to face that cruel truth.

We walked into the elevator one after the other, and until we reached the door to his home, neither of us spoke a word.

Julian inserted the key and opened the door. The moment he pulled it open, a pile of furry little creatures rushed forward, as if they had been waiting at the door for a long time.

Julian would pick them up one by one for a pat every day when he returned.

But today, he had no heart for it.

He stood at the doorway, unmoving, letting Little Bad and the kittens meow.

I crouched down and picked up Little Bad.

Julian watched this scene without a single feeling of warmth.

He spoke with a stiff tone: "I am not very good at taking care of cats. If you want to take them away, I have no objections."

Unexpectedly, upon hearing this, I put Little Bad down and looked straight at him: "Julian, can you tell me what you are thinking about right now?"

Julian froze.

What was he thinking? What could he think?

"Nothing." Julian turned his head away.

In truth, he was thinking that it was only right for Clara to treat him this way. He had failed her for so many years; he deserved to pay the price for his actions.

He should be living in regret; what right did he have to interrogate her like that just now?

The grievances Clara had suffered far outweighed his; she had suffered for so many years, and he had only been doing so for five...

Julian’s train of thought was interrupted by my sudden voice.

"Julian, actually, I also have a system."

Chapter 40

Julian’s mind went blank the moment he heard those words.

"What... did you say?"

A kitten tried to dash out, and I blocked it with my foot, closing the door in the process.

After the sound of the door closing, the room became even quieter.

Julian looked at me in silence, waiting for an answer.

I slowly exhaled a breath: "The reason I didn't die is because I have a system. That system didn't belong to Nina; it sought me out in the beginning."

"You might not believe it—"

I looked straight up at Julian: "Julian, I have already loved you ninety-nine times. But every single time, you fell in love with someone else and ended up with them."

"That system claimed it was here to help me be with you. It said our world is a novel, you are the male lead, and I am merely a female supporting character."

"After the first failure, it wiped my memories, making everything start from scratch."

"Ninety-nine times. I failed ninety-nine times."

Julian’s heart shook violently.

He had known Clara left because she was heartbroken because of him.

But he had never imagined that this wasn't her first heartbreak, but rather ninety-nine heartbreaks accumulated together.

Julian murmured: "I didn't know..."

I pulled at the corner of my mouth: "Of course you didn't, because from beginning to end, you were the person the system used as a tool."

"After I jumped, the system saved me, and it was then that I remembered all my memories and discovered the system's conspiracy."

"It never wanted us to be together; instead, it tried every possible way to stop us, using that to absorb the pain I generated."

"I thought... I thought that in these ninety-nine lifetimes, you had never loved me. Until today, when you told me your emotions were being manipulated by the system."

Julian realized instantly: "That system knew about my feelings for you, which is why it did all those things."

I nodded: "Yes, that is the conclusion I reached as well."

I felt a slight pang of guilt inside; I had misunderstood him.

If I had come to find him five years ago and explained everything, there would have been no misunderstanding.

But such is fate—how could I have known the system had made double preparations?

"Julian..."

I said, weighing my words.

But before the next sentence could come out, the man, carrying the scent of disinfectant, suddenly wrapped his arm around my waist, pushed me against the wall, and forcefully lowered his head to kiss me.

Julian’s lips and teeth were just like him, carrying a faint scent of peppermint.

How strange. Does he not secrete saliva?

Why is he always peppermint-scented?

I had loved the scent on Julian since I was young, and I had always wondered if kissing him would taste like peppermint too.

Today, it could be considered fulfilling a wish from my youth.

I had no opportunity to take the initiative; within moments, my thoughts turned chaotic, and I couldn't think of anything at all.

Only when I was gasping for air did Julian finally pull back slightly.

He pressed his nose against mine: "Clara Ke, from the moment we reunited, I wanted to do this."

My hands were still gripping his clothes.

I turned my head away slightly, took a few deep breaths, my voice somewhat husky: "Then you also said you wouldn't come to disturb me again..."

Julian chuckled softly.

"That was me lying to you, all to get you to lower your guard, so that I could find an opportunity to move in."

Chapter 41

I turned to look at Julian, somewhat stunned.

I truly couldn't imagine these words coming out of his mouth.

Think back to those days—how did people in school and the hospital used to describe Julian?

Cold, aloof, a high-mountain flower of asceticism.

Who would have thought he was a completely different person when kissing?

My fingers curled slightly, bunching up the fabric over Julian’s heart.

And then, I suddenly felt a silent change in him.

I was inexperienced in such matters, and my face suddenly began to heat up.

Yet I wouldn't let it go: "Julian, you used to act so well."

The coldness in Julian’s eyes was entirely gone, replaced by lingering tenderness.

He raised an eyebrow: "What did I do?"

I had never seen this side of Julian.

I truly couldn't believe he could be this thick-skinned.

I wanted to step back, to escape that heat, but there was a wall behind me, leaving nowhere to hide.

And beneath our feet, we were surrounded by kittens.

Little Bad, perhaps having finally recognized her former owner, began to meow very impatiently.

I took the chance to push Julian away, crouched down, and picked up Little Bad: "Little Bad and her kittens are starving. Where are the cat food and goat milk?"

Julian smiled, not exposing my attempt to change the subject: "In the cabinet next to the TV."

I immediately took off my shoes and walked over.

Julian didn't disturb our reunion, turning to walk into the kitchen.

He washed his hands, poured a glass of water, placed it by my side, and incidentally asked: "Shall I cook for you? Egg and shredded pork noodles?"

I was playing with Little Bad and paused at those words.

Egg and shredded pork noodles—that was the meal we ate most often during the most difficult days in medical school.

It wasn't expensive, but it was nutritious; its only drawback was that it didn't keep you full for long.

Yet, it carried the weight of those beautiful times.

I nodded with a smile: "Sure, I want extra vinegar."

Julian replied: "I remember, you love vinegar the most."

There seemed to be a double meaning to those words.

I didn't know whether to refute it or not.

In the end, I could only shout in a huff: "I’m not eating then!"