“I’m not sure we can seat the Astors that close to Ares’s brothers,” Mom says. “We definitely have to invite them. Their family is on par with the Windsors, after all… but we can’t seat them that close together. If I recall correctly, Adrian Astor strongly dislikes Ares’s brother, Lexington.”

I frown and look up from the charts. “Adrian doesn’t like Lex?” I ask, surprised. How could that be? Lexington is one of my favorite people in the world, and he attended Astor College with Leia. He’s the one who introduced me to Leia and Adrian in the first place.

“Yes, that’s what I heard. From what I understand, Adrian doesn’t appreciate Lexington’s playfulness.”

Ah.

I smirk knowingly. Lex must’ve provoked Adrian by flirting with Leia. Yeah, I can see that. Adrian isn’t forgiving in the slightest, and I have no doubt he’d hold a grudge.

“Fine, we’ll just seat them farther apart.”

Mom nods and rearranges their name cards on the tiny replica model she had made of Hannah’s wedding venue.

“Everything has to be perfect,” Mom mutters. “Hannah has waited so long for this day.”

I barely stop myself from rolling my eyes. “She’s postponed the wedding three times, Mom. I don’t think she’s all that impatient.”

Mom looks up sharply, anger flashing in her eyes.

“That’s because her work is demanding, Raven. You would never understand what it’s like to be an actress. All you have to do is stand still and look pretty all day. It isn’t the same for Hannah. She doesn’t get to go home after one measly photoshoot. She spends weeks away from home, working on sets that aren’t even remotely comfortable. Do you really think she wanted to postpone the wedding? She did it because she had no choice. You might not understand, but the least you can do is keep quiet if you have nothing nice to say.”

I bite down hard on my lip to stop myself from talking back. She knows how demanding photographers can be and how hard I work. Just a few weeks ago, I suffered hypothermia because I’d been forced to shoot a commercial in the snow.

I know better than to compare myself to Hannah, but I wish she wouldn’t dismiss my work as nothing more than standing still and looking pretty.

I suppose it doesn’t matter what I do. All she cares about is that I didn’t follow in her footsteps the way Hannah did.

My mother was a famous actress at my age, and she despises the fact that I never had any interest in acting. No matter how hard I work, nothing else will ever be good enough.

My hands tremble as I go through our list of vendors.

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Why do I keep coming home to help with a wedding I want no part in, just so I can spend time with a mother who will always consider me second-best to her golden child?

I’m not even asking her to treat me the way she treats Hannah. All I’ve ever wanted is a tiny ounce of her love.

Is that really too much to ask?

“I’m sorry,” Mom says, her voice strained. “The wedding has put so much pressure on me, and I took it out on you. I’m sorry, Raven. You understand, don’t you? This wedding means a lot to both of our families. This merger has been years in the making, and once the wedding is behind us, we can finalize the remaining paperwork and leave the merged company in Hannah and Ares’s hands. The Windsors refuse to move forward until the wedding is over, and your father and I need their funding.”

I nod, my head bowed. “I get it, Mom.”

She smiles at me then. “You’ve always been such a sweet girl, Raven. Hannah and I are both lucky to have you. I definitely couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

I smile back at her, glad the endless hours of work I’ve put into this haven’t gone completely unnoticed.

Hannah has barely been involved in the wedding preparations, and though it hurts to be constantly reminded of her upcoming wedding, I’m glad I get to spend some time with Mom. It’s rare for us to spend any real quality time together.

“I can’t believe my little girl is going to be someone’s wife soon,” Mom murmurs as she rearranges the flowers inside the replica vineyard where Ares and Hannah will be getting married.

“When your sister was little, I wasn’t sure she’d even live long enough to fall in love. There were so many things I never thought she’d get to experience, yet here she is — an international superstar about to marry one of the most eligible billionaires in the world. In the process, she’s taking care of both your father and me too, allowing us to retire at last knowing our company is in safe hands.”

Guilt and unease settle heavily in my stomach.

I shouldn’t envy my sister, and I shouldn’t resent the pride shining in Mom’s eyes.

I just wish that sometimes, even a fraction of that affection was directed at me.

“She’ll make a beautiful bride,” I reassure Mom.

Mom looks up, concern flickering across her expression. “How is the wedding dress coming along? Were you able to make the alterations Hannah requested?”

I nod.

Every time she postponed the wedding, she changed almost everything about it — including her gown — resulting in countless extra weeks spent redesigning and reworking the dress.

“Of course.”

Mom hesitates. “It’s nice that she asked you to make her dress for her. It’s such a thoughtful way to include you. I honestly thought she would’ve chosen a famous luxury brand instead, but I suppose this will help your business gain more traction. Once the world sees Hannah wearing one of your dresses, all her celebrity friends will follow. She’s a trendsetter like that.”

I bite down on my lip.

“I’ve won several fashion awards, Mom. I’ve had a two-year waiting list for my couture wedding gowns ever since I launched my first collection, and that list has only grown longer since Alanna Sinclair got married in one of my designs. My fashion house is already well-established and every bit as prestigious as some of the older brands.”

Mom gives me a placating smile that instantly grates on my nerves.

“Oh, of course,” she says with a nod.

Then she picks up one of the wedding invitations and holds it up.

“Anyway, we need to make sure these are hand-delivered three days before the wedding. Everything about this wedding has to remain secretive. If the paparazzi show up, it’ll ruin Hannah’s day. Why don’t you double-check that everything’s in order with the courier service we booked?”

I sigh and rise to my feet. “Sure. I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Mom looks up at me and frowns. “You aren’t staying for dinner?”

“No. I have an early shoot tomorrow.”

Mom nods. “Oh, good. Don’t want to look fat in your maid-of-honor dress either.”

My heart aches as I turn my back on my mother and walk away.

Every time I see Mom, I end up feeling like a horrible person, and somehow, I always leave hating myself.

I should be happy for Hannah, and I should feel honored that I’m being included in the wedding to this extent… but I hate it.

I hate the person I become whenever I’m home.

I’m never this desperate for attention or acknowledgment, and though it hurts to see her with Ares, I’ve never resented her for having his love.

Yet every time I come home, my mind fills with awful thoughts.

What if the one Ares was marrying was me?

What if I’d never taken Hannah to Sierra’s birthday party?

What if I refused to help with the wedding?

What if I made a move on Ares and stole him away?

I’m better than this, but every time I come home, I turn into the most pathetic version of myself.

“Sweetheart?”

I look up at my father, and he sighs knowingly.

“Let me walk you out, sweet girl.”

I nod and take the arm my dad offers me.

We stay quiet as he walks me to the sports car Ares helped me pick out.

Dad opens the door for me and hesitates.

“I love you, Raven,” he says softly. “Your mother does too. She’s just not very good at showing it.”

I bite down on my lip for a moment. “She has no trouble showing her love for Hannah.”

Dad reaches up and gently tucks my hair behind my ear.

“I know,” he murmurs. “Your mom feels the need to be so vocal about it because of how rough Hannah had it when she was young. Your mother thinks she can somehow make up for all the pain Hannah went through when she was sick by showering her with love now. It’s more for your mother than it is for Hannah, and it doesn’t mean she loves you any less.”

I nod, unwilling to continue the conversation any further.

I don’t want Dad to pity me or comfort me just because he feels obligated to.

For once, I don’t want to be soothed with pretty lies.

I rise onto my tiptoes and press a kiss to my father’s cheek.

“Love you, Dad.”

“You drive safe, okay? Send me a text when you get home. I know how to use those emotion things now. I’ll send you a thumbs-up back.”

“Emojis?” I ask with a giggle.

“That’s the ones.”

“Good for you, Dad. I’ll send you a little house emoji when I get home, okay?”

“It’ll be our secret language.”

He winks at me, and I barely manage not to laugh as I slip into the car.

This.

This is why I keep coming home despite my mother’s attitude.

Because Dad is right.

Deep down, they do love me.

Maybe not as much as they love Hannah, but I learned a long time ago to make peace with that.

I’ll never measure up to my older sister.

Not in my parents’ eyes.

And certainly never in Ares’s.