Chapter 22

I’m in a daze as Ares shows me around.

Until today, I’d only ever seen his living room and kitchen.

His home is very similar in size to Sierra’s, but the layout is completely different.

Sierra’s house is mostly open-plan, while Ares seems to prefer a lot of separate rooms.

I can see my sister’s influence everywhere, and it feels strange.

It only makes it more obvious that everything here was meant to belong to Hannah.

I suppose, in many ways, it still does.

He still does.

Even the cinema room he has was no doubt designed for private screenings of Hannah’s movies.

The love he has for her is obvious in every corner of the place I’ll now be forced to call home.

“I like my privacy, so I don’t enjoy having staff around,” Ares says, running a hand through his hair.

“My housekeeper and chef come during the day while I’m at work, so they won’t really bother you. You’ll barely see them at all.”

He opens another door as I continue following him.

“I’ll show you later how to download the app the whole family uses. You’ve probably seen Sierra using it before. If you need anything, just send a request through the app and it’ll get done — groceries, repainting the walls, whatever.”

He gives a small shrug.

“We have an entire team of butlers who can handle pretty much anything.”

I nod quietly as I follow him.

“This is the last room. My bedroom.”

He pauses briefly.

“I guess it’s ours now, actually.”

He holds the door open for me, and I reluctantly step inside, my stomach twisting.

It’s obvious he shares a lot of memories with Hannah here.

And nowhere is that more obvious than in his bedroom.

Ares drags a hand through his hair and inhales deeply, his gaze roaming over the room he once imagined sharing with my sister.

I’ve never been inside his bedroom before, and simply standing here feels invasive.

Ares finally turns toward me, guilt flashing across his face.

“Your suitcases were delivered earlier today. You should find everything you need in the dressing room. Let me show you.”

I nod and follow him, only to stop abruptly at the sight of the vanity covered with my sister’s favorite products.

A dull ache spreads through my chest, and I wrap my arms around myself protectively.

For years, this was the room he shared with Hannah.

This is where she stayed whenever she came over.

And judging by what I can see, that was often.

Ares follows my gaze and freezes.

“I…”

He cups the back of his neck, his expression filled with regret.

“I wasn’t thinking, Raven. Everything happened so suddenly. Until this morning, I was still hoping…”

He closes his eyes briefly.

“I haven’t had time to…”

I shake my head and place a hand on his arm.

“It’s okay,” I tell him, forcing myself to stay composed before I look up at him.

“But you need to understand something.”

I inhale slowly.

“I don’t want her hand-me-downs.”

His eyes immediately lock onto mine.

“I don’t want to be surrounded by the remains of your relationship with her. Our marriage may not be a conventional one, but I’d still like a basic level of respect.”

My voice trembles slightly.

“I’m not going to live in her shadow for our entire marriage.”

“Of course,” he says quickly, his voice soft.

“I understand. I’m sorry.”

He nods.

“I’ll have all her things packed up and sent to her. Would that be alright?”

I nod and look away, my chest aching.

I wish I could tell him the full truth.

That I don’t want to be constantly reminded of how much he loves her.

Of the life he expected to build with her.

I wish I could ask him to look at me and truly see me.

Just once.

Instead, I inhale shakily and walk toward the mirror, stopping in front of it.

“I’m exhausted,” I murmur.

“And honestly, I just want to go to bed.”

I don’t have the energy to keep pretending anymore.

“Can you help me with the buttons on the back?”

Ares walks up behind me, his eyes meeting mine through the mirror.

His touch is gentle as he brushes my hair over one shoulder, exposing the long row of buttons on the back of my wedding dress.

Even the dress I’m wearing tonight isn’t mine.

I designed it for Hannah.

It almost feels like I’m stealing everything that used to belong to her.

And it doesn’t feel right.

Ares hesitates for a moment before undoing the top button on my dress, a tortured expression crossing his face.

He’s undoubtedly thinking about Hannah.

Thinking about how beautiful she would’ve looked wearing this.

What expression would he have if it were Hannah standing in front of him tonight?

He pauses halfway through and looks up, his eyes meeting mine in the mirror.

“How far do you want me to unbutton it?”

I force a smile onto my face and do my best to pretend my heart isn’t racing.

That his touch doesn’t affect me.

What does he see when he looks at me?

Does any part of him find me attractive at all?

“All the way,” I whisper.

“The fabric is delicate, and I don’t want to damage it trying to undo the buttons myself.”

He nods and tears his gaze away, focusing on the task again.

Doesn’t he feel anything while undressing me?

The way he kissed me during the ceremony allowed me to pretend for a little while that our marriage wasn’t a complete sham.

But the coldness he showed me afterward destroyed any hope he accidentally gave me.

A shiver runs down my spine as his fingers brush against my skin, and I let my eyes fall closed for a moment, pretending tonight isn’t pure torture for him.

In my fantasies, Ares wants me just as much as I want him.

His thoughts are filled with nothing but me.

If things had been different between us…

Would he have laid me down on his bed, impatient and desperate to touch me?

Instead of handling me so carefully, would he have been rough and frantic the way he was all those years ago?

Ares takes his time undoing the buttons until the back of the dress finally falls open.

I expect him to step away.

But instead, he places his hands on my shoulders.

I glance at him through the mirror and catch him looking at me in a way he never has before.

His eyes meet mine.

And for a single second, I could’ve sworn I saw lust there.

What would he do if I turned around and kissed him right now?

I’m terrified of what will happen once Hannah realizes I truly married Ares in her place.

The moment she comes back and asks for his forgiveness, any chance I have of making this marriage work will disappear.

I spin around quickly and place my hands against his chest, a fear I’ve never felt before guiding my movements.

“Ares,” I whisper.

It’s almost as if my voice snaps him out of whatever trance he was in, because he immediately steps away and drags a hand through his hair.

“Go to bed without me,” he says, his voice firm.

I nod silently, my thoughts spinning as he walks away.

I suppose he’s trying to give me privacy.

But that isn’t what I want.

Once, I told one of my closest friends that if I ever thought I had a chance with the man I loved, I’d give it everything I had.

And I’d fight dirty if I had to.

This is it.

This is my chance.