Chapter 4: The Need

If I knew how to do it on command, I would. But as I only transformed for the first time and have no idea how to call my inner wolf into my eyes again, I just stare at him, completely dumbfounded by the importance of a color.

"Why does that matter?”

I'm aware that despite the more urgent topic at hand, the Shaman has moved towards me, as has one of the silent elders—a formidably tall and muscular man whose grey-white hair is not successful in lowering his intimidation levels. He snarls in my direction, "Because you are part white, and now Cole sees red in your eyes. It matters. Now show us, or I will make you fully turn on my command, and you won't enjoy it.”

He seethes, his tone full of hostility, and I shrivel back, scalded and instantly fearful. Colton reacts instinctively to the veiled threat, and chaos ensues. In the flash of a blink, he's between me and the elder, growling, his eyes glowing wildly, his body larger and bristling with tension as he turns to the man and huskily warns him off.

“My mate... mine! You touch her... I will exert my right to maim or kill to protect her. I don't care who you are in this pack!”

His tone drops to satanic levels, and I recoil behind him, seeing the ripple of muscles along his spine as he begins to transform aggressively. My stomach hits my knees, leaving me weak and unsure what else to do as the Shaman intervenes; fear paralyzes me to the spot.

“See? This is what happens when you delay the bond. The urge gets insane the longer you deny it. The need to protect, the need to be joined—it creates madness. Colton, be still. No one is going to touch your mate without your say-so, and we will look at her eyes in time. Breathe and come back to us.”

He places a hand on his shoulder and gently brings Colton back to my side, lifting my hand and placing it on Colton’s gently, before patting both of us and setting us down. The instant spark and warmth generated between us give me all kinds of safe and familiar vibes I've not known in almost ten years—not since I last saw my parents alive and at home. It seems to do the same to him, as his eyes fade back to brown and he inhales slowly, bringing peace to the aura between us.

“His mate holds the key to bringing him calm. Be that now. We need to talk without you both here. Go, into the room through there.”

The Shaman points us towards an adjoining door, and Colton grasps my fingers tightly. His energy pulses through mine, and it does seem to bring him back from the brink of turning. I can't explain it, but here, holding his hand, it's the first time in a long time I feel a connection of love for anyone—that sense of belonging that I lost the day my family left me.

I barely knew him this morning and yet, here and now, my instincts tell me I would die for him if I had to. The longer this plays out, the stronger this need to be near him gets. It's insanity, and I have no understanding of how this can be, but it is what it is. Colton is part of me now, and I can't do anything about it. Being physically joined causes all sorts of inner sparks and sizzles as tension builds between us, and I move obediently as he pulls me with him.

We are ushered to the door, hands still entwined, and I follow him closely. The heady need to wrap myself around him is worse when we have prolonged contact, and as much as my head tells me to let go, I can't seem to. The growing ache in my stomach and pelvis is getting irritatingly intense, and I am more than aware of how good his skin feels against mine. Our hands are slotted together, warm on warm, and it's weirdly sensual.

Colton leads me through to the other room and shuts the door firmly behind us, still holding my hand and keeping me by his side as he turns to me. He gazes down at our entangled fingers for a long second; it seems like he, too, is telling himself to let go, but he doesn't.

We stand stiffly, a pulsating energy growing between us as the air thickens, and I find it harder to breathe the longer he's this close. I am fully aware of him towering over me in all his beautiful muscular glory, his hot body and his way-too-good looks. Even his voice does crazy, tingly things to me, and standing there absorbing his heat and inhaling his unique scent, I start to get clammy in really embarrassing places. My eyes keep straying to his face, his mouth—his really pretty face—and I edge closer absentmindedly, biting my lip as crazy thoughts about leaning up and biting him course through my brain alarmingly.

I need to cool down and pull this back in. Hormones are obviously well and truly kicking in with his proximity, and I need to breathe a little.

"How can I want to kiss someone so badly that I never even knew a few hours ago? I have a girlfriend. Well, I did. My head's a mess.”

He looks instantly distraught and squeezes my hand a little forcefully before reluctantly releasing me and stepping back. It calms my jets as guilt punches me in the stomach, and I realize maybe he’s not getting as hot and bothered as I am standing here.

“This is... insane. I don't know you... How can we...?"

He paces away from me, seemingly in turmoil, walking past me twice, back and forth, and then turns to me again.

I shrug at him, unsure what else to say. If I knew the answers, I guess we wouldn't be here like this. I'm a little out of my depth and struggling to get this raging fire in my pelvis under control, as what I assume is my libido finally introduces herself to me. I have to stop checking out his ass as he keeps waving it past me. It's making me all squirmy and uneasy, and I'm sure he can probably tell with a look that I am about three seconds away from launching at him. I shuffle from foot to foot, swallowing hard, blowing out heavily to release this growing pressure in my stomach.

“Please tell me you are feeling this too. That this is not just me?”

He stops and frowns at me, his eyes looking a little hazy and intense as he stares at my mouth, almost electrocuting me with the connection. I glance away, my face flushing from his effect on me, and I try to focus on the floor, the table, a wall—anything to cool off this suddenly suffocating room around us. I can feel him without touching him; his presence is ebbing into me and stirring up all kinds of longings and sensations.

“I think that's how it's meant to work. We're supposed to want to, you know... mate.”

I blush as I say it and look away again, overwhelmed with sudden shyness. I am uneasy with this admission that he wants to kiss me while I'm all kinds of flustered, hot, tingly, and itching to slide my hands over that strong, wide chest and......

Oh god, stop.

I mean, I do, too—want to kiss him, that is. I have since after the whole imprinting thing, but I just didn’t think we should be admitting those kinds of things to one another, especially when neither of us actually wanted this. I'm finding it really hard to breathe at all as my lungs constrict and my heart flakes out with him being close enough to inhale, lick, grope... I really need to get a grip. I pull the neckline of my T-shirt to release the heat coming off me in droves and fan my face to push these insane urges and mental images of him naked out of my head. I want him to kiss me so badly, I can almost taste it.

I don't get a chance to give any kind of verbal response or even encouragement. I don't even get a chance to look up or think before his sudden sweep into me, his fingers yanking my chin up as his lips crash into mine, knocks me for six.

I'm shocked, frozen for a second by the instant lip-to-lip assault, but as soon as his warm mouth molds to mine, I literally lose all control. I kiss him back; hormones are let loose and that craving hunger finds what it wanted after all, with a fever incomparable to anything. I get lost in the sweetest-tasting pastime ever invented. Now I know what an urge taking over feels like, and my inner wolf pushes beyond any control I have.

His lips open mine, our tongues meeting for the first time, and I experience my first-ever French kiss with a clearly practiced mouth. I groan, succumbing to his expertise as he yanks me into him and bodily crashes us together intimately. Our teeth clash with sheer ferocity in the devouring way we go at one another, and his hand rakes my body, grinding me to him like he can't get enough as I completely succumb.

Lust fuels the animals in us. He picks me up under the thighs, his grip bruising my tender skin as he wedges his body between my legs, pulling them around his waist, and walks me back so he can jam me up against the wall to fully push himself against me. He kisses me harder, with a passion that sets us on fire, and I grasp and claw at his shoulders and neck in utter abandonment—scratching, biting, kissing, and finding my rhythm and confidence in what he’s doing to my mouth. His tongue caresses mine, and mentally I blurt out, insane...

I want you inside of me. I'm going to self-combust if you don't.

I'm not even sure if I mind-linked or where this thought even came from, given I'm a virgin and never had a sexual urge in my life, but it only seems to make him kiss me all the more passionately. All sense is lost as this bond engulfs us, and he grinds into me until my urges reach a fever pitch of heightened horniness. I start panting with the effort as my body vibrates and craves him desperately.

I wrap my arms around his neck tightly, almost choking him with the way I latch on, devouring him with equal fervor. I find my motion, rubbing my pelvis up against what is clearly an erection—a very solid bulge in his pants—as we meet in every way. It doesn't even shame or shock me; instead, it fuels my need to strip him naked and get on top of him to complete this union. He feels like the best thing in the world; he smells, tastes, and touches in a way that drives me insane with need. I now realize this bond is more powerful than even I gave it credit for. I want him so badly I might actually lose my mind if we don't do this.

Grinding into one another, my crotch fitted to his and my breathing labored, I experience the real first moments of a building climax, even though we haven't done anything properly. Just the motion of his rough jeans between my thighs, over my panties, his kiss, his hands on me, and the feel of him has me unraveling insanely. I never knew much about sex before today, and now I literally cannot contain the need to have it with him, and I might even get my first orgasm without losing my virginity.

Colton catches my hand roughly and pulls it above my head, pinning me back against the wall hard—crazily sexy—exposing my neck to him while my arm pulls my long hair back out of his way. I turn my face, knowing what he wants almost instinctively, my heart hammering through my labored breathing, and I tighten my grip around him to keep him close. Sliding away from my mouth to my neck, he licks from the base of my throat and up to my jawline, igniting a wave of tingles and goosebumps that makes me clench my thighs together around him. He groans at the pressure, which shoves his hard-on firmly against me. My core pulses with need as he focuses on something else entirely.

Mark me... take me. I'm yours. Finalize the union.

The wanton voice of a girl begging for release—a voice I don't recognize—and he responds with a low growl that stirs everything deep down inside of me.

I want nothing more. God, I need you so badly.

Primal urge is no match for common sense. As his teeth elongate and graze the soft skin of my neck, holding me taut against the wall, fully submissive, and angling me in readiness to leave his mate mark on my neck, I moan in pleasure and squeeze my eyes closed at his touch. I hold my breath as I wait for the one thing that will calm the insanity of this need between us.

A transference of blood and sex, and we are united for life, bearing marks that tie us together and show everyone we're bonded.

I tense and exhale as his hot breath and soft mouth nestle on the naked skin near my jugular, and a sharp graze presses against the pulsing spot of my throat. A tiny inkling of piercing points pricks into the first thin layers, fully ready for the biting pain I know will probably come, but I'm so close to self-combustion that I think it might make me climax. I dig the nails of my one free hand into his shoulder, clamping onto him brutally in sheer ecstasy, and I swell with the transference of the pleasure he feels as it consumes me too. Seems he likes a bit of pain.

An almighty, high-pitched screech assaults my senses, shatters glass in the room around us in dramatic mini-explosions, and combusts inside my head so crazily painfully that I snap my eyes open and scramble to claw my palms over my ears, yanking them from him. Colton’s body tenses, and he releases me clumsily, dropping me to my feet in an alarm that has us scrambling to shield our ears in unison, our brains shuddering with the excruciating, squealing whine on our elevated senses. Colton bristles into half-turning—teeth, claws, face changing—as his protective instincts make him fight-ready and poised to protect me. He turns on the source as he tries to stay upright, and I crumble behind him to the floor in a useless heap, clutching at my head to drown it out before my brain actually pops.

"How could you?”

Carmen wails, so insanely tonal it's like a dog whistle, and things on the shelves in the room begin to vibrate as she keeps that infernal noise going. It dawns on me: this is one of her gifts. She can shatter things with high-pitch frequency, and I clutch my ears in alarm as she begins to howl louder. Colton somehow seems to be more able to battle it and attempts to tackle her into the hall to try and stop the eardrum-puncturing noise. It's insanely painful.

“You said you loved me!”

She screams at him, pushing back to get at me, losing her sanity and going for the kill. Her eyes glow the brightest orange as she loses all self-control, her nails elongate to full-on wolf claws, and her teeth begin to peek. He changes from pushing her out to dragging her back away from me, wrestling what is a mid-transforming she-wolf.

“I did... I mean, I do. I don't know what I'm saying. Calm down, Carmen.”

He picks her up from behind, covering her mouth with one hand harshly, pressing until she relents for a gasp of air. He turns her around before pinning her to the wall to restrain her and get control. The tone that dominates, the one none of us can fight, comes out of him ruthlessly and reminds me why all should be afraid of the Santo Alphas.

“Stop it now! And stop screaming!”

He growls it her way devilishly, and even though I'm not even saying a word, I instantly slam my mouth shut, too. It’s instant, feeble submission because he Alpha-toned us, and there's not a lot you can do about it.

She instantly quiets, falling into utter silence. Relief is immediate, but my ears are ringing in the aftermath, and I am so dazed I can't immediately get up. As I finally scramble myself to my knees to try, the door bursts open and Juan storms forward—half-man, half-beast, semi-transformed in a ripped shirt and jacket, ready to take on the intruder—and stops dead in his tracks. The elders and Shaman are hot on his tail in a similar state of urgency, and they all gape at the scene before them.

“What's going on? What happened?”

He commands snappily, seething with rage. I sink down into the corner once more, huddling into a ball and wishing myself a million miles away from all of this. This just can't get any worse.

“Your son was in the middle of marking that Reject! .... MY mate has betrayed me!"

She wails again in desolation, and I feel every single angry glare turn from her to me, and then to Colton, as the silence deafens us all.