Chapter 27

I look up in surprise when the kitchen door opens.

Raven walks in wearing a sports bra and a pair of skin-tight leggings that make it impossible to keep my eyes off her.

She freezes when she sees me, her eyes widening.

“Morning,” she says, forcing a smile.

“Morning.”

Things have been weird between us lately.

It’s like we no longer know how to act around each other, when we used to be such good friends.

I suppose most of that is my fault.

I’ve been waking up early and working late just to avoid going to bed with her.

I feel horrible for forcing her into this marriage, but I’m not making things any better by avoiding her.

If anything, I’m only making her uncomfortable, and I have no doubt she’s starting to feel unwelcome around me.

I need to get my shit together.

Raven walks over to the coffee machine, giving me one hell of a view of her ass.

This is part of the reason I’ve been staying away from her all week.

Having her here with me has made it impossible to ignore how fucking beautiful she is.

Just seeing her in the sexy nightgowns she wears at night makes it impossible to think straight.

I’m terrified I’ll do or say something inappropriate.

Raven and I are straddling this weird line between being married and being nothing more than friends, and I don’t know how to deal with it.

“Ares?”

I look up at Raven and force a smile.

“I asked if you wanted another cup of coffee.”

I shake my head and gesture toward the fridge.

“No, thank you.”

I pause briefly.

“There’s some breakfast for you in the fridge. Donna told me you haven’t been eating much.”

I frown.

“Is the food not to your liking?”

She tenses for a moment and shakes her head.

“No, it’s not that.”

She exhales softly.

“I just… I can’t eat much, Ares. I’m a model, remember?”

I push away from the kitchen counter and walk toward her, my hands wrapping around her waist, my fingers nearly touching around it.

“Rave, you can afford to eat a little more.”

My eyes drift over her body.

“You’d still be the sexiest woman alive, you know?”

Her eyes widen before she smirks.

“Is that so?”

I bite down on my lip as I realize what I just said.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

This is exactly what I’ve been worried about.

I’ve never had a problem keeping inappropriate thoughts about her deeply buried before, so what changed?

I let go of her and step back, but she follows me and wraps her hands around my tie.

“Can we stop?” she asks softly, her tone almost pleading.

“Stop what?”

“This,” she whispers.

“Dancing around each other. Avoiding each other.”

Her eyes search mine.

“We’ve been married for a week, and I’ve barely seen you, much less spoken to you.”

Her voice weakens slightly.

“Why does it feel like I lost one of my closest friends?”

Her words catch me completely off guard, and I reach for her instinctively, the back of my hand brushing against her cheek.

“Rave,” I murmur.

“I just…”

I sigh heavily.

“I thought giving you space would be the right thing to do.”

I run a hand through my hair.

“The last few days have been a lot for both of us.”

I look away briefly.

“I was worried I’d make you uncomfortable.”

My voice lowers.

“Being in each other’s personal space like that… I don’t know.”

I exhale slowly.

“I just didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

It isn’t the full truth.

But it’s the closest thing to the truth I can give her right now.

“You are,” she tells me quietly.

“You are making me uncomfortable by keeping your distance.”

She shakes her head.

“It’s weird, and I hate it.”

Her gaze softens.

“We’ve always been friends, Ares. Why does that need to change?”

She swallows hard.

“Shouldn’t marriage have brought us closer?”

Pain flashes across her face.

“Do you really hate being married to me that much?”

The hurt in her eyes fucking guts me.

“Raven, what the fuck? No.”

I immediately wrap my hands around her waist and lift her onto the kitchen counter effortlessly.

Her eyes widen, and her hands press against my chest.

I step between her legs, unsure what to say and yet unable to ignore the overwhelming need to reassure her.

“I just feel guilty, Rave.”

My jaw tightens.

“I’m pissed at Hannah, and I’m angry at myself for doing this to you.”

I let out a rough breath.

“Fuck. I just…”

How do I explain that I’m struggling to accept that the life I carefully planned disappeared overnight?

How do I tell her my head is such a complete fucking mess that I can’t even understand why I’m not more devastated about how things ended with Hannah?

I should be heartbroken.

But more often than not, it isn’t Hannah I’m thinking about.

It’s Raven.

I want to do right by her, and I don’t know how.

I don’t want to clip her wings.

I can’t stand seeing her smile fade.

I don’t want her to feel trapped in this marriage with me.

And I’m terrified she’ll eventually resent me for forcing her into it.

She inhales shakily and looks into my eyes.

“I’ll never be her,” she says softly.

“I know that, Ares.”

Her gaze drops briefly.

“I know I’m not the woman you want to wake up beside.”

Her voice weakens.

“I know you can’t stand having me in your bed at night.”

She shakes her head slightly.

“I get it.”

Then she looks back at me.

“I know you’re hurting, Ares.”

Her eyes soften.

“But please… please don’t distance yourself from me.”

She swallows hard.

“If asking you to treat me like your wife is too much, then all I’ll ask for is your friendship.”

Her voice trembles.

“I miss you, Ares.”

She hesitates.

“What am I supposed to do?”

Her eyes search mine desperately.

“How do I make my presence easier for you to tolerate?”

“Easier to tolerate?” I repeat in disbelief.

“Fuck, Cupcake.”

I lower my forehead against hers and inhale deeply.

She’s always smelled like vanilla cupcakes and sunshine.

So many things have changed over the years, but not that.

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

I pull back just enough to look at her.

“It’s not you, baby.”

My voice softens.

“Your presence in this house doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all.”

I hold her gaze.

“It’s the complete opposite.”

I drag a hand through my hair.

“I’m worried being around me is uncomfortable for you.”

I exhale slowly.

“I’ll be honest with you, Rave. I’m having a hard time processing everything that happened.”

My eyes drift over her face.

“It’s hard to believe you’re my wife now.”

I swallow hard.

“And I can’t quite figure out what that even means for us.”

She smiles at me so sweetly that my chest tightens painfully.

“Didn’t we agree we don’t have to figure it all out right away?”

She tilts her head slightly.

“But I can tell you this much.”

Her voice turns softer.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

She smiles faintly.

“There’s very little you could do that would make me uncomfortable.”

Then she raises a finger to her lips.

“And if you do, I’ll tell you.”

A teasing smile appears on her face.

“These lips are very good at complaining.”

She laughs softly.

“I’m not some fragile woman you need to protect, Ares.”

Her gaze locks onto mine.

“I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t chosen to marry you.”

My eyes drop to her lips, and I swallow hard.

Fuck.

She tasted so good on our wedding day.

And I’ve wanted another taste ever since.

How would she react if I told her I’ve been a complete fucking mess because I want her?

Because I dream about her every single night?

Would she think I’m some sick bastard?

“I hear you,” I murmur softly.

“I’ll do better from now on.”

She nods.

“No more avoiding me, okay?”

“I promise.”