Chapter 28

I stare at my phone as it rings while I park outside Ares’s house, my heart feeling unbearably heavy.

It’s a strange feeling — wanting to hope for something while already knowing better.

What even is that called?

It isn’t hope.

It’s longing for hope.

I wish I could believe my mother was calling simply because she missed me.

A soft sigh escapes my lips as I grab my bag and step out of the car, declining her call for the fifth time.

But that still doesn’t deter her.

My phone starts ringing again, and I steel myself before finally answering.

“Mom?”

I press my thumb against the scanner, and the front door swings open.

“Raven, I’ve been calling you for over an hour now.”

She sounds irritated, and a dull ache spreads through my chest.

“What took you so long?”

I put my phone on speaker as I slip off my coat.

“I had a shoot that ran late because no matter what we did, the photographer wasn’t satisfied with the shots.”

I sigh tiredly.

“I’m exhausted, Mom.”

I walk farther into the house.

“I drove straight home afterward, so most of your calls came in while I was driving.”

“Raven, doesn’t your car have a hands-free function? Honestly. Surely it can’t be that difficult to set up?”

I bite down hard on my lip, forcing myself not to snap back at her.

There’s no point arguing with my mother.

The person who suffers most from that is always me, and I don’t have the energy to upset myself any further.

“What are you calling about, Mom?”

She hesitates briefly.

“Hannah’s been very upset all week. She hasn’t left her apartment, and every time I go check on her, she’s crying.”

Her voice softens dramatically.

“I don’t know what to do, Rave. Do you think you could talk to her?”

I stare blankly at my phone for a moment while bending down to take off my shoes, giving myself a second to breathe.

She acted so differently on the day I got married.

I actually thought the change might last.

That she’d finally realized how unfairly she’s always treated me.

I should’ve known better.

The second Hannah comes up, every promise she made to me disappears.

Everyone always chooses Hannah.

“Mom,” I say carefully.

“The only reason I married Ares is because Hannah refused to.”

I close my eyes briefly.

“So I’m not really sure what you want from me.”

I laugh bitterly.

“In a matter of days, I lost everything.”

My chest tightens painfully.

“I had to leave my apartment — the home I built and loved — to move in with someone who doesn’t even want me here.”

I swallow hard.

“How do you think I feel?”

My voice cracks slightly.

“What do you think it’s like being married to someone who avoids me because looking at me reminds him of the woman he actually wants?”

I grip my phone tighter.

“Don’t you think Hannah owes me an apology for forcing me to clean up the mess she created?”

My jaw tightens.

“So don’t ask me to call her and comfort her over a situation she caused.”

“You selfish little girl,” Mom snaps immediately.

“You never change, do you?”

Her voice sharpens.

“You never have it in you to be the bigger person.”

I close my eyes again, exhaustion washing over me.

“Can’t you see this is going to destroy your relationship with your sister?”

She sighs dramatically.

“Hannah isn’t reaching out because she’s heartbroken, and she’s never been good at telling us when she’s hurting.”

Her tone softens again.

“You know exactly why that is, Raven.”

She pauses.

“It’s because of all those years she spent sick, always feeling like a burden.”

I grit my teeth.

“I’m not saying Hannah isn’t wrong,” Mom continues, “but so are you.”

Her voice hardens.

“We both know your marriage to Ares is temporary, so why can’t you just make her feel better?”

She scoffs softly.

“Would it really kill you to pick up the phone and reassure your sister?”

“Would it kill her to do the same for me?”

Mom sighs heavily.

“I’m so disappointed in you, Raven.”

Her words hit like knives.

“I genuinely don’t understand how the two of you can both be my daughters when you’re so different.”

She pauses.

“I wish you could be more like your sister.”

A hollow laugh escapes me.

“Yeah, join the club, Mom.”

I drag a hand through my hair and stare at the ceiling.

“Everyone wishes I could be Hannah.”

My voice weakens.

“But I’m not.”

I swallow hard.

“I’ll never be her.”

“No,” Mom agrees coldly.

“You’ll never be her.”

Her voice turns sharp again.

“But you could at least try to be half the woman she is.”

A long silence follows.

“Call your sister, Raven.”

Then she hangs up on me.

I bite my lip hard in an attempt to hold back my tears, but they fall anyway.

Every single time I talk to her, I end up feeling like a terrible daughter.

Maybe I should just give in and do what she wants.

But I know I’d hate myself even more if I did.

“Raven.”

I turn around and find Ares leaning against the wall, his arms crossed.

The look on his face tells me he’s been standing there listening for a while, and humiliation crashes over me.

“Cupcake,” he says softly.

“I don’t want your pity.”

I glance at him, taking in the gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips and the white T-shirt stretched across his muscular arms.

Just looking at him hurts.

I hate wanting him this badly.

I hate that I’m his wife while still being the last person he actually wants beside him.

“Or is it not pity you’re offering me?”

I laugh bitterly.

“Let me guess. You think I should call your precious Hannah too, don’t you?”

He pushes off the wall and walks toward me, but I hold up my hand and shake my head.

“Forget it.”

I look away.

“Whatever you were going to say, I don’t want to hear it.”

I try to walk past him, but he catches my wrist gently, stopping me.

“Cupcake, all I wanted to ask was whether you’ve eaten today.”

His voice stays calm.

“Do you want me to heat something up for you?”

I blink at him in surprise before shaking my head.

“No,” I whisper, my shoulders sagging.

“Thank you, Ares, but…”

I swallow hard.

“I think I’m just going to bed early tonight.”

I pull my wrist from his grip and escape into our bedroom, my chest aching.

Tonight is the first night he’s gotten home before me, and I know it’s because of the conversation we had this morning.

I asked him to stop avoiding me.

Yet here I am, running away from him instead.

My breathing grows shaky as I walk toward our bathroom.

I should be happy he’s finally home with me for once.

But right now?

Right now, I wish he weren’t.

Agony spreads through my chest until it feels impossible to breathe.

Hot tears stream down my face as I undress, and I barely manage to hold myself together.

I try desperately to breathe through it.

To swallow my sobs.

But the moment the hot water hits my skin, I completely fall apart.

It isn’t just my mother and the pain she causes me.

It’s everything.

Why is it that no matter what I do, I’m never enough?

My soft sobs disappear beneath the sound of the shower as I lean against the wall and let myself feel every ounce of pain I spend my life trying to hide.

Usually, work is the one thing I can rely on.

But not today.

I had to redo my shots over and over because I couldn’t get my expression right.

Then there are all the problems I’m dealing with while trying to source materials for my new designs.

My day had already been awful before my mother called.

She just made it worse.

Am I really asking for too much when I wish my mother would comfort me after a bad day instead of asking me to comfort my sister?

Why can’t I ever be anyone’s priority?

What makes me so undeserving of that?

Why can I never measure up to Hannah in my parents’ eyes?

In Ares’s eyes?

What does she have that I never will?

Why is my best never enough?

A crushing sense of defeat settles over me as I struggle to breathe through my sobs, choking on my tears.

I may have married Ares, but he can barely stand being around me.

I’m his wife now, but the price of that title was our friendship…

And I’m starting to think it’s going to cost me far more than that in the long run.

It’ll cost me my already fragile relationship with Hannah.

And with my parents too.