Chapter 29

I clench my jaw as I listen to the sound of my wife’s sobs through the bathroom door.

She’s trying so hard to stay quiet, and it’s killing me.

I have no doubt I’m one of the reasons she’s hurting, and I don’t know how to fix it.

The shower turns off, and I step away from the door before making my way back to our bed.

I climb in and grab my phone, unsure what I’m even supposed to do.

For a moment, I consider texting Sierra and asking her to come over, but then I think better of it.

If Sierra were the person Raven needed right now, she would’ve gone there herself, wouldn’t she?

Raven walks out wearing an oversized T-shirt instead of one of the sexy nightgowns I’ve gotten used to seeing, yet somehow she looks even more irresistible than usual.

She pauses the moment she notices me sitting up in bed and instantly averts her gaze, clearly hoping I won’t notice how red her beautiful eyes are.

I force myself to look away too, pretending to be absorbed in my phone.

I don’t know how to face her.

I want to be there for her, but I don’t want to push or intrude if that isn’t what she needs.

Raven stays quiet as she climbs into bed beside me.

I expect her to say something — anything at all — but instead she simply turns her back to me and curls into herself, her breathing still uneven.

I watch her silently for a moment, taking in the way her small hands clutch the blankets and the sound of her shallow breathing.

She sounds like she could burst into tears all over again at any second, but she’s trying desperately not to.

Tonight more than ever, I wish I could be the person she turns to.

I’d give anything to be the person she relies on when her heart hurts.

The person she seeks comfort from.

I inhale deeply before opening the app that controls everything in the house.

I hesitate, unsure whether I should dim the lights or turn them off completely.

What does she need right now?

Considering the way she hid in the shower, I suspect it’s darkness.

The lights go out, and I lie down beside her, completely at a loss.

It’s only been a few days since we got married, yet I’ve already seen so many sides of her I never realized existed.

She always acted so sweet and carefree around me, but now I’m seeing both strength and vulnerability I never realized she carried.

And somehow, it only makes her more beautiful.

She’s unlike any woman I’ve ever known.

Those tiny shoulders carry dozens of burdens, and most of them were never hers to begin with.

I turn onto my side and mirror her position, leaving a little space between us.

“Rave,” I whisper.

She tenses but doesn’t answer.

Instead, she tightens her grip on the blankets.

Fuck.

It kills me knowing she’s hurting and that I can’t make it right.

The things she said to her mother…

Fuck.

I had no idea I’d made her feel that unwanted.

I may not be able to fix her relationship with her mother, but I refuse to let her feel insecure in our marriage.

The fact that she does means I’ve already failed her as a husband.

I reach for her hesitantly and rest my hand on her arm.

She sniffles softly, and for a second I think she’s going to pull away.

But instead, she turns around to face me.

“Ares,” she whispers, her voice breaking as fresh tears gather in her eyes.

“I…”

Her lip trembles.

“Can I have a hug?”

Fuck.

The pain in her voice guts me.

My chest tightens painfully as I pull her into my arms harder than I intended, one arm sliding beneath her while the other wraps tightly around her body.

I hold her against me, her body flush with mine.

Raven buries her face against my neck and inhales shakily as her arm curls around me.

Her touch is cautious.

Hesitant.

As if she’s afraid she’s asking for too much.

She’s my wife, yet she hesitates to ask me for a hug.

How badly have I made her feel unwanted?

“You never have to ask,” I whisper as my fingers slide into her hair, holding her close.

She clings to me so tightly that I instinctively tighten my hold on her too.

She fits against me perfectly.

Almost too perfectly.

Her breathing remains uneven, like she’s still trying not to cry, and I slowly stroke my hand over her back in soothing circles.

“Are you okay, Cupcake?”

She shakes her head and fists the back of my shirt in her hand.

“I don’t think so.”

Her voice sounds so broken that rage blinds me for a second.

Listening to that conversation with her mother without stepping in was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

I want to destroy every single thing that hurts her.

But I can’t do that when one of those things is her mother.

“Talk to me, baby.”

My voice softens.

“Tell me what’s going on inside that beautiful head of yours.”

She drags her nose lightly against my throat and shifts in my arms, pressing her breasts more firmly against me.

It takes everything in me not to focus on how good she feels against my body.

“It’s just too much, Ares.”

Her voice cracks.

“I feel so unwanted.”

She inhales shakily.

“So unloved.”

Her grip on me tightens.

“I feel like a failure. Like no matter what I do, I’ll never become what anyone wants me to be.”

She swallows hard.

“Even work was a nightmare today, and I just…”

Fresh tears fill her eyes.

“How could I fail that badly?”

She laughs bitterly.

“It’s one thing to fail at everything else in life, but my career has always been my escape.”

Her voice trembles.

“Today I just needed one thing to go right.”

A shaky breath leaves her lips.

“Just one.”

I hold her tighter as she struggles not to cry again.

I don’t know which photographer she worked with today, but I know one thing for sure.

He’ll never work with her again.

Matter of fact, he’ll probably never work in this industry again.

For his own sake, I hope he enjoys wildlife photography, because that’s the only field I’ll leave open to him.

“And then there’s my mother and you.”

Her voice weakens.

“You both want me to be someone I’m not, and it hurts.”

She shakes her head quickly.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not blaming you.”

Her eyes search mine desperately.

“I understand. I really do, but—”

“No,” I cut her off firmly.

“You don’t understand, Raven.”

I tighten my hold on her and roll us over until she’s lying beneath me, my body hovering over hers.

Her eyes widen as I brace myself on my forearms so I can look directly at her.

For a second, I catch something in her expression that I recognize instantly.

Loneliness.

Longing.

Feelings I know far too well.

And I never want her feeling them when she’s with me.

“I don’t need you to be anyone else.”

My voice turns fierce.

“Not ever.”

I hold her gaze.

“You’re my wife, Raven. You.”

I shake my head.

“No one else.”

My chest tightens painfully.

“You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone.”

I brush my thumb gently over her cheek.

“And you don’t need to measure up to anyone either.”

I inhale slowly.

“Because whether you realize it or not, you’ve already surpassed every expectation anyone ever set for you.”

My jaw tightens.

“The fact that they refuse to acknowledge it doesn’t make you any less incredible.”

I stare directly into her eyes.

“You’re perfect exactly the way you are.”

My voice softens slightly.

“And no, I’m not just saying that to make you feel better.”

I brush her hair back gently.

“I’m saying it because it’s true.”

I swallow hard.

“You’re loyal to a fault.”

My chest tightens again.

“You married me and sacrificed the future you wanted because you refused to abandon everyone else.”

I let out a rough breath.

“You’re fucking beautiful.”

My eyes drift over her face.

“And you’re smart. Really fucking smart.”

I shake my head.

“How many women do you know who manage a full-time modeling career while also building a successful business?”

My voice hardens.

“Fuck anyone who can’t see your worth, Rave.”

I lean closer.

“Fuck all of them.”

“Including you?”

I blink in surprise before a smirk tugs at my lips.

My cock stirs involuntarily at her words.

“Yeah,” I whisper darkly.

“Fuck me too.”

She bites down on her lip, and I watch sorrow slowly give way to something that looks dangerously close to desire.

Fuck.

I lower my forehead against hers, trying desperately to steer us back to safer territory.

But having my lips this close to hers isn’t helping.

This chemistry between us…

It’s always existed.

But now it feels impossible to escape.

“In all seriousness, Rave…”

My voice softens.

“I’m sorry I was one of the reasons you were hurting today.”

I close my eyes briefly.

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

I inhale deeply, her signature cupcake scent sending my pulse racing.

“I want you here, Raven.”

My voice lowers.

“There’s no one I’d rather have in my bed than you.”

I hold her gaze steadily.

“No one.”

I swallow hard.

“You probably won’t believe me, but it’s the truth.”

I brush my thumb over her cheek again.

“From the moment I married you, you’ve had all of my loyalty.”

My chest tightens.

“Right down to my thoughts.”

I stare directly into her eyes.

“There’s no one else in my head but you.”

My voice roughens.

“When I look at you, all I see is my wife.”

I shake my head slowly.

“Nothing else.”

My hand slides into her hair.

“No one else.”

I inhale shakily.

“There’s no room for anyone else anymore.”

My gaze softens.

“Not in my mind.”

I pause.

“And not in my heart either.”

I let out a rough breath.

“I know this probably sounds like pretty lies or some pathetic attempt to comfort you.”

I hold her tighter.

“But over time, you’re going to realize it’s true.”

I shift slightly above her and brush my lips softly against her forehead.

“I never wanted you to feel unwanted.”

My voice lowers again.

“Because you’re not.”

I stare down at her.

“Do you have any idea what it means to me that you chose to marry me?”

My jaw tightens.

“You could’ve walked away and left me to deal with the consequences alone.”

I brush my fingers gently over her waist.

“But you didn’t.”

Emotion tightens my chest painfully.

“You were there for me when I needed someone most, Rave.”

I exhale shakily.

“And I’ve done a really shitty job thanking you for it.”

I shake my head.

“I’ll do better, okay?”

I glance away briefly.

“This was hard for me too.”

My voice roughens.

“And I was stupid enough to think I knew what you needed.”

I look back at her.

“I’m learning the hard way that I only knew one small part of you.”

My gaze softens.

“And it’s going to take me time to discover the rest.”

I brush my nose lightly against hers.

“Will you give me that time, Rave?”

I whisper.

“Will you give me some grace?”

My chest tightens.

“Will you forgive me for fucking this up?”

She slides her fingers into my hair, and I swallow hard.

The way she’s looking at me…

Yeah.

She has my heart racing in a way no one ever has before.

There’s so much trust in her eyes.

So much hope.

And all it does is make me want to give her the entire fucking world.

I never want to disappoint her again.

And from this moment on, I won’t.

I’ve never felt anything this intense before.

I want her desperately.

But it isn’t just physical.

My entire fucking heart is in this too.

“I’ll give you some grace,” she whispers.

“On one condition.”

I nod immediately.

“Anything.”

She cups my face gently.

“Honor my request, Ares.”

Her eyes search mine.

“No assumptions. No overthinking.”

Her voice trembles slightly.

“Please communicate with me.”

She swallows hard.

“Do you know how difficult it was for me to admit how I’ve been feeling?”

Pain flashes across her face.

“All week I felt like I was losing you.”

Her fingers tighten slightly against my skin.

“And I don’t want to spend this marriage constantly guessing.”

Her eyes soften.

“Please don’t do that to me.”

I tilt my head and press a soft kiss against the corner of her mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

I lift myself slightly so I can properly look her in the eye.

“I promise I’ll communicate from now on.”

I let out a rough breath.

“Even when it’s difficult.”

I drag a hand through her hair.

“It’s just…”

I laugh humorlessly.

“I’m so used to mind games that this feels completely new to me.”

She cups my cheek gently.

“You give me honesty, and I’ll give you grace.”

A soft smile touches her lips.

“How about that?”

I nod immediately, my heart pounding hard in my chest.

I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a moment that felt this real before.

Not with anyone.

But then again…

For years, the only woman capable of destroying my endless patience has always been the one lying beneath me now.

My wife.

“Yeah,” I whisper.

“I promise.”

She smiles at me so sweetly that my chest aches.

“Then give me one moment of honesty, Ares.”

She tilts her head slightly.

“Tell me one thing no one else knows.”

Her fingers slide slowly through my hair.

“Give me a part of yourself no one else has.”

A small smile pulls at my lips.

“You already have my last name, Raven.”

I hold her gaze.

“And it’s the one thing I’ll never give another woman.”

“Never?”

I shake my head and pull her tightly against me as I roll onto my back with her in my arms.

She shifts against me until her head rests on my chest and one of her legs hooks over my hip, her inner thigh brushing teasingly against my cock.

Does she realize what she does to me?

“Never,” I promise softly.

The moment I married her, I knew Hannah and I were over.

I never should’ve entertained the idea of divorcing Raven in three years unless she’s the one who asks for it.

That isn’t who I am.

And she deserves better than that.

She looks up at me and smiles, and fuck…

It does something to me.

I can’t explain it, but I know I’ll remember the way she’s looking at me right now for the rest of my life.

“Feel better, Cupcake?”

She nods.

I hold her tightly and continue stroking her back until her breathing finally evens out.

I stare up at the ceiling while she falls asleep in my arms, my thoughts spinning wildly.

I can’t believe I spent all week avoiding her…

When I could’ve had this instead.

One night with Raven, and I’m already addicted.