How could the world be so cruel to her?

She held back, not letting herself cry out loud.

Rowan’s vision blurred, and in that haze, she saw a silent gaze.

Caleb opened his eyes, watching her in silence.

Caleb’s lips suddenly trembled; he wanted to say something, but in the end, he couldn't make a sound.

Rowan: "You..."

She paused for a long time: "You..."

She wanted to ask, "Are you... okay?" But as soon as she opened her mouth, her emotions collapsed instantly.

Suppressing the sob in her voice, she turned her back to him.

Tears slid down silently.

She didn't dare to look him directly in the eyes.

Rowan suddenly remembered sixteen-year-old Caleb, full of high spirits.

He would wear a white shirt and ride his bike, carrying her along the campus path. His long arms would brush against the branches, and cherry blossom petals would shower down on her head.

On their way home, they encountered some hoodlums on motorbikes.

They threatened her, rummaging through her school bag, looking for money.

He fought seven or eight of them alone, with ease to spare, even keeping his bag slung across his back, chewing on a stalk of dogtail grass while bantering with her.

He was arrogant and unyielding: "Rowan, call me 'Brother,' and Brother will protect you."

That kind of boy.

He shouldn't be like this.

He shouldn't be lying in bed, where even moving a finger was a struggle.

Rowan finally turned back. She looked at Caleb and said in a very, very soft voice: "Caleb, I’m here."

Caleb remained silent.

One couldn't tell what he was thinking in those chaotic pupils.

Rowan sat by his side: "Caleb, I think... for a long, long time, I haven't spoken to you."

Caleb’s voice was very weak, his lips twitching.

Rowan leaned her ear closer, only then hearing Caleb say.

"You... leave..."

Rowan lowered her gaze, catching sight of the urine bag hanging beneath him, leaking nothing but blood.

Hematuria.

She gripped her fingers tightly and said hoarsely: "Caleb, you’re still the same."

"Or perhaps, we are still the same."

Always pushing the other away in the name of what’s best for them.

Rowan looked up and saw that it was snowing outside the window.

Beautiful snowflakes, a blanket of goose-feather white.

She said: "Caleb, it’s snowing."

Caleb struggled to move his neck, only to find that even a single movement felt like tearing flesh and blood.

Rowan took out her phone and snapped a photo of the snow.

She said: "Caleb, is it beautiful?"

Caleb remained silent.

Rowan said nothing more, simply staying by his side.

Until the ICU visiting time was over.

Only then did Rowan stand up to leave. She said: "Caleb, see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow, forever."

Rowan left the ward and went to see the doctor.

The doctor said: "Falling from the fifth floor—if not for the buffering provided by the greenery below, Captain Caleb wouldn't have survived."

"Multiple organ failure and post-operative complications are all major hurdles."

"His condition is... not optimistic."

The doctor said much more.

Rowan, however, only heard the last four words: not optimistic.

As Rowan turned to leave the ward, she saw Caleb’s mother.

Chapter 23

For once, Caleb’s mother didn't scream or shout at her; instead, she sat down and told Rowan much about Caleb’s past.

She talked about how, after Rowan dropped out of school, he would guard the computer desk every night, waiting for that gray, unreplied avatar on the forum.

She talked about how, when Caleb was nineteen, he saw a back that looked like hers and chased after it for ten miles.

He nearly got hit by a car, and then, looking lost, he had said: "How did she... disappear..."

She talked about how he went to sweep the graves of Rowan’s parents every year. When enemies came to spray-paint the tombstones, Caleb would stand guard at the cemetery day and night.

He had said: "When Rowan comes back and sees this, she will be sad."

In the end, his mother said: "Rowan, all these years, the one I hated wasn't you. I hated my child for being so kind—kind enough to bear leaving me behind, kind enough to risk his life to save you."

"But now, I find I can’t hate anyone. And now, my other child, isn't he also risking his life to protect the justice in his heart..."

"This was his own choice..."

Rowan hung her head and said: "I’m sorry..."

Besides "I’m sorry."

There was nothing she could say.

His mother wiped away the moisture from the corners of her eyes and said: "Rowan, thank you."

Thank you for still being willing to come and see him.

Rowan came every day, from the beginning of visiting hours to the end.

Caleb still didn't want to talk to her.

She didn't mind. Every day, she brought photos from his past, told him stories about the past, and brought him a bouquet of flowers.

She said: "Caleb, when I bring you seven bouquets of flowers, you will be better, okay?"

Seven was Caleb’s lucky number.

February 16th was the last day of the lunar year.

Rowan forgot to bring him flowers. She smiled helplessly: "Caleb, look at me, still as forgetful as ever."

"Caleb, today is New Year’s Eve. Do you want to eat dumplings?"

Caleb’s parched lips moved. He said in a low voice: "The doctor said no."

Rowan laughed.

He was still so rigid.

She said: "It doesn't matter, just holding it in your mouth and spitting it out is fine."

"Caleb, you have to eat dumplings on New Year's Eve so that you can be reunited and whole in the coming year."

Caleb’s voice softened slightly: "Okay."

Rowan looked at Caleb in the hospital bed. His hematuria had lessened, and the doctor said his organ functions were recovering.

On the last day of the year, she received the best news.

Rowan prepared to leave.

Caleb suddenly called out to stop her: "Rowan."

Outside, it was snowing heavily.

Rowan turned back and saw those ink-black eyes, which seemed to be emitting a faint, shimmering light.

She asked: "Caleb, what do you want to tell me?"

Caleb shook his head silently.

"Wait for me."

Rowan smiled at him.

Caleb tried very, very hard to curve the corners of his mouth.

Until Rowan’s back disappeared at the doorway of the ward.

Only then did he murmur in a low voice: "I'm sorry..."

In the final moment of his fall from the heights, what he had retraced in his mind—the thing he felt regretful about—was that he hadn't been able to say "I'm sorry" to her in person.

He was so sorry.

Sorry that he hadn't been by Rowan’s side during her most agonizing days.

Sorry for having used the sharpest words to hurt her in the past.

And even more sorry for almost killing her.

He thought she hadn't heard him.

But then he saw Rowan suddenly poke her head back into the ward from the doorway.

She looked at him very seriously.

"Caleb, saying 'I'm sorry' is useless. I will never forgive you."

"If you don't get better, I will never forgive you."

Caleb was stunned for a moment.

Then he said: "Okay."

Chapter 24

Rowan looked at him and added: "Caleb, I’ll wait for you to get better."

She walked out of the ward.

She went to the parking lot and lit a cigarette.

She hadn't smoked in a long, long time.

Only then did she realize that the time it took to smoke a cigarette was actually so long.

Rowan returned home, bought Caleb’s favorite preserved vegetables, chopped up meat filling, and mixed it together.

She rolled the dumpling wrappers thin, filled them with meat, and wrapped them one by one.

When dividing the dumplings, Rowan placed the one with the coin inside Caleb’s portion.

She thought that if he ate the "ingot" dumpling, the coming year would be smooth and peaceful.

Rowan carried the dumplings to the hospital, only then realizing she had forgotten the flowers again.

She thought, I’ll ask Caleb what kind of flowers he wants, and I’ll bring those.

On New Year’s Eve, the hospital corridor was dead silent.

Rowan checked the weather forecast on her phone; after one more week of snow, it would be sunny.

By then, Caleb should be much better.

The moment the elevator doors opened, she heard piercing, heart-wrenching cries.

One after another.

As if countless arrows were piercing her chest.

Rowan heard the wails of Caleb’s mother; she heard Chen Yiting’s cries.

The insulated box smashed onto the ground, and steaming dumplings rolled out, one by one.

Rowan walked over and saw Caleb covered with a white sheet. His mother was screaming: "Caleb, Caleb..."

She called out his name, over and over.

Rowan seemed to fall straight into an abyss. Endless darkness surged toward her, and not a sliver of light could get through.

She stood there, frozen.