"When the flowers wither" Chapter 11
[I saw you draw the curtains.]
My fingers tightened abruptly.
[You don't need to come out; I just want to see you.]
[Even if it’s just a shadow.]
Chapter 16
The shoe cabinet was gone the next day.
Along with the umbrella, the rain boots, and the five pairs of drying insoles, everything had disappeared completely.
Only a faint mark remained on the wall, proving that something had been placed there before.
For a full week, I didn't see Luke again.
I worked late every night and could only wash up in a hurry when I got back.
My phone suddenly vibrated.
It was a call from my mother.
"Ginger, have you been in contact with Luke lately?"
I paused: "No. Why?"
"Your Aunt Lu called just now, saying Luke hasn't been to the company in days, doesn't answer his phone, and no one is home. She's incredibly anxious and asked me if I knew where he was".
I gripped my phone tightly: "He’s missing?"
"Not exactly missing; the company says he is approving documents in the system every morning, but no one has seen him in person. Your Aunt Lu says that at the apartment where he lives, there is no response when knocking, but the lights are on".
After hanging up, I stood there.
The lights are on, but the person is inside and won't come out.
I changed my shoes and took the elevator to the 18th floor.
The hallway was quiet, and the door to 1802 was closed, with a thin line of light shining beneath the crack.
I stood for a few seconds and raised my hand to knock.
No one responded.
I knocked a second time, then a third.
"Luke, it's me".
A muffled sound came from inside, as if something had been knocked over.
Then the door opened.
Luke stood at the doorway, wearing a wrinkled black T-shirt, his hair disheveled, with blue stubble on his chin.
He had lost a lot of weight, and his cheekbones were more prominent than they were two weeks ago.
He froze the moment he saw me.
"Why are you here?"
His voice was hoarsely unrecognizable, as if he hadn't spoken to anyone in a long time.
I looked at him, and my throat felt like it was blocked by something.
"How long has it been since you ate?"
He didn't answer, just looked at me, eyes unblinking, as if afraid I would disappear in the next second.
"Luke, I’m asking you a question".
"Three days," he said, "or four, I don't remember".
I took a deep breath, pushed past him, and walked inside.
There were several empty beer bottles on the coffee table in the living room, the ashtray was full, and the curtains were drawn tightly.
There was a layer of dust on the kitchen stove, clearly not having been used for a long time.
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I opened the refrigerator; there were only a few cans of beer and a carton of expired milk.
"Is this how you’ve been living?"
He leaned against the kitchen doorframe, looking at me.
"Didn't you tell me to move away? I moved the shoe cabinet, moved the umbrella, moved everything".
His voice was very low.
"But I don't know where to move to. You don't keep the things you say you don't want. So what about me?"
He looked at me.
"Ginger, are you not wanting me anymore either?"
I closed the refrigerator door, standing with my back to him.
"What is the point of doing this? Starving yourself to death, and then what?"
"And then you came," he said, "You haven't paid attention to me for seven days".
I turned around, looking at him.
His eyes were red.
"I moved over here just to be closer to you, just to see you".
"But I discovered that wanting to see you, even for a glance, is truly so difficult".
I opened my mouth, unable to say a single word.
His phone, which was on the coffee table, suddenly lit up.
A text message popped up, and I clearly read the words on it.
[Mr. Luke, the wedding diamond ring you ordered has arrived at the store; please bring the relevant identification to pick it up.]
The air seemed to have been sucked out.
I stared at that line of text, and he stared at it too.
"When did you order it?" my voice was very soft.
Luke didn't speak.
I picked up his phone, and the screen automatically lit up; the wallpaper was a photograph.
It was a side-profile photo of me sitting in the carriage when I left Beijing at that time.
It seems that it wasn't a hallucination that day; Luke had truly seen me.
Luke closed his eyes.
"I wanted to chase after you right then. But what did I have to chase with? I couldn't even offer you a public relationship; what face did I have to chase you?"
I put the phone down and walked toward the door.
"Ginger".
His hand reached out from behind, not touching me, but stopping in mid-air.
"The diamond ring was ordered the day after we broke up".
I stopped in my tracks.
"Not a single word of what I said that day was true".
"Whatever I said about not caring, not lacking people pursuing me, and no one taking a second look at you, it was all fake".
His voice was trembling.
"I only said those things because I was afraid you would leave".
I stood at the door, with my back to him.
When the tears fell, I didn't wipe them away.
"Luke, when you said those things, did you ever think that I had already stopped waiting?"
There was a long silence behind me.
Then he said: "I know".
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"But I still wanted you to know these words".
Chapter 17
I didn't respond to him, just pulled open the door and walked out.
The moment the elevator doors closed, I heard a muffled sound from inside 1802, as if something had been smashed on the floor.
Returning to the 16th floor, I stood in the hallway, and my phone vibrated.
[I won't return the diamond ring.]
[You don't have to want me.]
[But I have to wait.]
I didn't reply, opened the door, and went inside.
The news of that diamond ring was like a thorn, stuck in my mind, unable to be removed.
Going to work the next day, I was in a daze the whole time.
A colleague called me three times before I reacted, and when reporting, I even read the wrong lines of data.
The team leader glanced at me but didn't say much.
In the afternoon, I went to the pantry to get water and heard someone on the phone when I passed the fire escape.
The voice was muffled, coming through a door.
"I said I'm not going to the hospital; I won't die".
It was Luke's voice.
My footsteps stopped.
"Don't come looking for me; let me stay by myself".
The call was hung up, and the sound of a lighter came from the fire escape—once, twice, the third time it lit.
I stood outside the door, my hand holding the water cup slowly tightening.
He had lost so much weight, hadn't eaten for three days, and was still smoking.
I pushed open the door to the fire escape.
Luke was sitting on the steps with a cigarette between his fingers, looking up at me through the swirling smoke.
His eyes were red, not knowing whether it was from the smoke or because he had been crying.
"Why are you here?"
"That’s a sentence I should be asking you; your company isn't in this building".
He put out the cigarette, stood up, and threw the butt into the trash.
"I came to discuss something with your team leader. It was on my way".
On his way? His company was forty minutes away by car.
Moreover, what matter required him, a president, to come in person?
I didn't expose him and turned to leave.
"Ginger".
I stopped, gripping the water cup tightly, my nails embedding into my palm.
"Luke, can you please not be like this? We have already broken up".
There was a long silence behind me.
"Okay," he said.
I lifted my feet and walked away.
That night, I still worked overtime until very late.
When I walked out of the company entrance, a food delivery person was standing there.
"Is this Miss Jiang? Someone ordered a meal for you".
I didn't ask, just said indifferently: "I don't want it; please help me throw it away".
Returning downstairs to my apartment, I saw a figure standing far away and recognized it as my mother.
"Mom? Why are you here?"
"Your Aunt Lu called and said that child Luke was ill, and I happened to be coming to Shanghai to see an old classmate, so I came by to see you".
My mother went upstairs with me.
After entering, she looked around and sat down on the sofa.
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