"Ginger, what is really going on with you and Luke?"

I placed the water cup in front of her.

"Nothing is going on; it's just as I said on the phone at the time".

"We were together, and then we broke up".

I hadn't expected that my three years with Luke would end up condensed into such a short sentence.

"Then why did he move upstairs to your place? Your Aunt Lu said he even put his house in Beijing up for sale".

My hand paused.

"Sold it?"

"He has a perfectly good house in Beijing and doesn't live in it, and a man runs off to a strange land to rent an apartment," my mother looked at me, "Ginger, tell me, what does he want to do?"

I sat opposite her without speaking.

My mother continued: "What about Luke? Do you know where he is now?"

"His mother was hospitalized because of him, and I only just realized that he dumped my precious daughter; I must settle these two scores with him".

I let out a bitter laugh: "I don't know either".

My mother noticed my expression and deliberated before speaking: "Ginger, I’ve watched Luke grow up since he was a child, and he’s not a bad person".

"If he is willing to change..."

I gripped the hem of my pants tightly, interrupting my mother in time.

"Mom, what if he changes? The three years I spent waiting for him, who is going to return that to me?"

Chapter 18

My mother didn't say anything more.

She looked at my reddened eyes and sighed.

That night, my mother stayed in the guest room, while I lay in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep.

At two in the morning, my phone lit up.

[The light in your room is still on.]

It was from Luke.

I didn't reply.

[Is it because your mother is here that you can't sleep?]

I stared at the screen, typed a few words, then deleted them, and in the end, still didn't reply.

A second message popped up.

[I'm not staying here tonight, don't worry.]

Luke most likely knew that I didn't want to see him.

Early the next morning, my mother said she wanted to go to Luke's company to find him.

"Mom, don't go."

"Why can't I go? He wasted three years of your life, can't I even ask about it?"

I stopped her: "What will it achieve if you ask? Make him kneel and apologize? Or make him marry me?"

My mother froze.

I softened my voice: "Mom, let it go. It's already over between him and me."

My mother didn't persist in the end.

When she left, she hugged me at the door.

"Ginger, Mom just feels heartbroken for you."

I nodded, holding back my tears.

After seeing my mother off, I returned to the apartment and saw Luke downstairs.

He was standing by the flower bed, wearing a dark coat, holding a bag in his hand.

Seeing me, he walked over.

Luke handed over the bag: "These are the pastries you love; I queued all morning to buy them."

I looked at the bag but didn't take it.

"Luke, how long do you intend to keep pestering me?"

He paused, withdrew his hand, and placed the bag on the edge of the flower bed.

"I don't know, maybe until the day you truly don't want me anymore."

"I already don't want you."

He looked at me with a very calm gaze.

"You've said that many times, but I still haven't learned how to accept it."

I turned and walked toward the unit door without looking back.

In the evening, Shen Yan invited me to dinner, saying there were some things he wanted to tell me in person.

"Ginger, I've been assigned to work abroad; I'm leaving next week."

"So suddenly?"

Shen Yan looked at me and smiled, a bitter smile.

"It's not sudden. I've thought about it for a long time. I came to Shanghai for you, but now..."

He didn't continue, picked up his cold coffee, and took a sip.

"Ginger, can I ask you a question, and will you answer me honestly?"

"Go ahead."

"If Luke had gone public with your relationship back then, would you two not have broken up?"

I opened my mouth, unable to speak.

Because the answer was obvious.

But fate loves to play jokes.

Luke hadn't chosen to go public, and now it was impossible for us to go back to how things were.

But Shen Yan clearly already had his own answer.

He looked at me and smiled: "Alright, I understand."

Afterward, Shen Yan left, his back disappearing at the entrance of the restaurant.

It was at this moment that I caught a glimpse of Luke standing across the road.

"What exactly do you want? From where I live to my company, and now this, how much longer are you going to stalk me?"

Luke's expression changed.

He remained silent for a long time.

After a while, Luke spoke softly.

"I followed you to Shanghai, moved downstairs from you, confirmed the project with your company..."

"Simply because I can't bear to leave you, not even for a moment."

Luke's voice was deep, hoarse, and trembling as his long arm suddenly grabbed my wrist.

"Ginger, have you never believed in me?"

"Not even once?"

I clutched my phone, standing under a streetlamp; the night wind was cold.

My throat felt parched, and my tone was cold, tinged with deep sorrow: "Luke, what do you want me to believe in you with?"

Chapter 19

Luke's hand slipped from my wrist.

He looked at me, his lips moving, but he couldn't say a word.

The night wind blew, ruffling his hair.

Luke stood right in front of me like a child who had done something wrong and didn't know how to make amends.

"Three years..." I said softly.

"Over a thousand days, I stood behind you, not even daring to hold your hand. When you were drunk and kissed me, I was happy for an entire month. Later, when you said it was because you lost a dare, I didn't dare ask you if it was true."

Luke's eyes reddened.

"I helped you write forty-seven letters, every single one signed with someone else's name. You never said thank you, nor did you say you liked them. You just used me up and threw me away, telling me to write more."

"Ginger..."

"Let me finish."

I interrupted him, my voice trembling.

"I never told you these things because I was afraid you would find me annoying or overly sentimental. Now that we've broken up, I can finally say them."

I took a deep breath.

"You ask me if I believe in you? Luke, I don't even know if you were serious when you asked to 'try it out' back then; what do you want me to believe in you with?"

He reached out to touch my face, but stopped halfway and retracted his hand.

"I was serious," he said, his voice so hoarse it was barely audible, "Every single thing was serious. Kissing you was serious, saying 'let's try' was serious, and every time after that..."

He paused, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"Every time you were by my side, I wanted to tell the whole world, but I..."

"What were you afraid of?" I asked.

He fell silent.

"Are you afraid of your mother? Your friends? Or are you afraid that Xu Ruyue would be unhappy if she found out?"

"No," he shook his head, "I was afraid of you."

I froze.

"I was afraid that if you knew how much I cared about you, you would manipulate me and control me, just like everyone else." He kept his head down, his voice growing lower, "My mother did that to my father. My father never held his head high in his life."

I stood there, as if a basin of cold water had been poured over me.

Three years—he hid for three years just because of this?

"Luke, I am not your mother."

"I know." He looked up, his eyes bloodshot, "I know now. But it's too late, isn't it?"

He asked the question again.

But this time, it wasn't a mutter to himself; he was asking me.

However, I couldn't be bothered to state the obvious answer.

I slowly pulled my hand away and walked off without looking back.

This time, Luke didn't follow.

The next day, when I went to work, I found a document bag on my desk.

I opened it to find a medical report.

It was Luke's name, dated yesterday.

Every indicator was marked, with dense red arrows.

High blood lipids, high blood sugar, abnormal liver function, stomach ulcers.

There was a sticky note on the last page.

[Didn't you ask me how long it had been since I ate?]

[Three days. But I didn't tell you, I've been like this, on and off, for a month.]

[Ginger, I'm afraid I'm running out of time.]