"I Keep Waking Up in My Straight Roommate's Arms" Chapter 16
The call came at 6:18 on a Thursday morning.
Noah had fallen asleep at his worktable. He answered with charcoal on his cheek and expected Adrian to remind him about breakfast.
A stranger spoke instead.
"Is this Noah Bennett? Adrian Kovacs listed you as his emergency contact."
The world narrowed.
There had been a collision during water training. Another shell crossed the course in fog. Adrian's boat turned sharply, caught a wake, and rolled. He had struck his shoulder against the rigger before entering the water.
By the time Noah reached the hospital, Adrian was awake and furious.
"It is a dislocation," he said before Noah reached the bed. "No fracture. They reduced it."
His left arm was immobilized against his chest. Wet hair curled at his forehead. A cut crossed one cheek.
Noah wanted to shout, cry, and climb into the bed. He did none of those things.
"May I touch you?" he asked.
Adrian's face changed.
"Yes."
Noah took his uninjured hand. Only then did his knees begin to shake.
The physician explained that imaging showed damage to tissue around the joint. Adrian would need a specialist. Surgery was possible. The upcoming national trials were not.
Adrian listened without expression.
In the car, he said, "I can rehab in six weeks."
"The doctor said twelve before full load."
"Doctors give conservative estimates."
"Adrian."
"The selectors know my times."
"Adrian."
"If I can demonstrate—"
"Stop."
He turned toward the passenger window.
At home, Noah helped him remove his wet clothes, wash, and settle into bed. Adrian endured assistance with rigid humiliation.
"I can do it," he said when Noah reached for the sling buckle.
"I know. Let me save you ten minutes and a lot of pain."
"I don't need to be managed."
Noah withdrew his hands. "Then tell me what help you want."
"None."
"All right."
He left water, medication, and the doctor's instructions on the bedside table, then went to the studio room and closed the door.
For three hours, neither spoke.
At noon a glass broke.
Noah found Adrian in the kitchen staring at shards around his bare feet. He had tried to open the medication bottle one-handed.
"Don't move," Noah said.
Adrian's face crumpled.
It was not dramatic. One moment he stood cold and furious; the next, grief simply removed his ability to hold himself upright. Noah swept the glass aside with his shoe and caught him.
"I cannot do anything," Adrian said against Noah's shoulder.
"Today."
"Trials are in seven weeks."
"I know."
"My father was right."
Noah pulled back. "About what?"
"One mistake. One weak moment. Everything goes."
"An accident is not weakness."
"You don't understand what this costs."
"Then tell me."
Adrian's breath shook. "I don't know who I am if I cannot row."
Noah did not answer with reassurance. Telling Adrian he was more than rowing would be true and useless. Rowing had shaped his days, body, friendships, and imagination since childhood. Losing it, even temporarily, deserved grief.
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"Then we do not force an answer today," Noah said. "Today you are a man with a dislocated shoulder who needs his medication bottle opened."
Adrian laughed once through tears.
"May I help?"
"Yes."
Noah cleaned the glass. He opened the bottle. He did not turn the moment into proof of his own value.
Recovery changed their household. Noah learned to tie Adrian's shoes and wash his hair without pulling the injured arm. Adrian learned to ask before frustration became cruelty. Some days he managed both. Some days he did not.
At the orthopedic appointment, the specialist recommended surgery.
Adrian asked about returning for the next season.
"Possible," the surgeon said. "Not promised."
That evening they sat on the balcony with untouched milk cooling between them.
"I want the surgery," Adrian said.
"All right."
"I may not come back at the same level."
"I know."
"And if I don't?"
Noah took his hand. "Then I will love the man who grieves. After that, when you are ready, I will meet the man you choose to become."
Adrian bowed his head over their joined hands.
For once, he let love hold him without asking what it cost.
The night before surgery, Adrian could not sleep. Noah found him at the table watching footage of his best race, the screen muted.
"Do you want company?" Noah asked.
"Yes."
They watched the race from start to finish. Adrian explained the crosswind, the mistake at eight hundred meters, the decision that recovered half a length. His voice carried pride without apology.
"If that was my last best race," he said, "I want to remember it accurately."
Noah wanted to insist there would be better ones. Instead he said, "Then tell me again."
Adrian replayed it. The second time Noah understood more. The third time, he could see the instant Adrian chose pain over panic and changed the result.
At midnight they closed the laptop.
"I am afraid," Adrian said.
"I know."
"I needed to say it without making you solve it."
Noah kissed his uninjured shoulder. "Excellent practice."
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