Don't Call It Protection

Julian came home behind them.

Audrey waited until Poppy had eaten, washed, and fallen asleep with the rabbit tucked beneath her chin. Then she walked into the bedroom and closed the door.

He stood beside the window.

For the first time, she didn't mistake his stillness for calm.

"How much of it was planned?"

"The rumors weren't mine. I chose not to deny them immediately."

"Because?"

"We suspected people inside the company were passing information to Renshaw. My absence made them less careful."

"And you thought I would be more convincing if I was frightened?"

His face tightened.

"I didn't want you involved."

"I was involved the moment I had to tell our daughter why you weren't coming home."

Julian looked away.

Audrey crossed her arms to stop her hands shaking.

"Did you know I went to your office?"

"Yes."

"Did you watch?"

"Miles sent the security footage."

She laughed once, without humor.

"Then I hope you enjoyed the performance."

"Don't say that."

"Why? Wasn't that what it was to you? Something useful?"

He came toward her.

She held up a hand, and he stopped.

"You don't get to hold me before you answer."

The space between them felt charged enough to hurt.

"I thought I could finish it quickly," he said. "Then explain without having to worry you about every risk."

"You worried me about the worst one."

"I know."

"You let me think I might never see you again."

That was when the tears came, infuriatingly sudden. Audrey turned away, unwilling to give him that, too.

Julian spoke behind her.

"I saw every message."

She faced him again.

"That makes it worse."

"Yes."

It was the first answer that didn't try to make his decision smaller.

She swallowed.

"I don't know how to do this with you. Every time I think I've reached you, there's another door I didn't know was there."

He looked at her as though the words had found something he couldn't defend.

"I didn't mean to test you."

"But you learned whether I'd protect you while you were gone. You learned how much I cared. What did I learn?"

Julian couldn't answer.

She took her nightclothes from the drawer.

"I'm sleeping in the guest room."

His hand closed around the edge of the dresser, not around her.

"For how long?"

"Until I want to come back."

She walked out before he could make the question sound like a deadline.

He didn't follow.

That hurt in a different way, which made her angrier still.

Before going upstairs, she'd taken out her studio accounts and checked the figures again. She could pay the staff, cover the lease, and rent somewhere smaller without a contribution from Julian.

She needed to know that while she was angry with him. Otherwise every affectionate gesture would come tangled with the question of whether she could afford to refuse it.

The figures didn't make her want him less.

They did make the wanting easier to recognize as her own.

She closed the folder and put it beside the old divorce agreement.

In the guest room, Audrey lay beneath a blanket that smelled of clean linen instead of him. She had asked for distance and discovered she didn't know how to sleep inside it.

A knock came an hour later.

She opened the door a little.

Julian held a glass of water and the heating pad she used when her cramps were bad.

"You were holding your stomach," he said.

"I was trying not to cry."

His face changed.

He put the things on the small table outside the room.

"Then I guessed wrong."

She stared at him.

He looked tired and painfully handsome, his shirt sleeves pushed back, the wedding ring still on his hand.

"I don't want an apology made of things," she said.

"This isn't one. I don't like you hurting."

"You can't hate seeing it and keep causing it."

He nodded once.

Then he stepped back.

"Goodnight, Audrey."

She closed the door before she did something foolish, like ask him to stay.

The following day, Harriet arrived at Julian's office with a report she said proved Poppy was Ryan's daughter.

Audrey was at the studio. Julian kept the meeting away from her, but not from Thomas, whom he called immediately.

Harriet spread the pages across the desk.

"He showed me the result. You've let her make a fool of you."

Julian read it without touching it.

"Where did the child's sample come from?"

Harriet's confidence faltered.

She admitted taking hairs from Poppy's brush before the school incident. Ryan had promised the result would end Julian's marriage and give everyone what they wanted.

Julian called the laboratory Thomas had selected. The witnessed test they'd arranged after his return had already been completed.

Thomas arrived carrying the authentic report.

Harriet read it, then read it again.

Poppy was Julian's biological daughter.

"No," she whispered.

"You wanted an independent answer," Julian said. "There's your answer."

She looked up.

"How long have you known?"

"Longer than you."

"And you love her mother?"

He didn't pretend not to understand.

"Yes."

Harriet cried, but he didn't mistake the tears for a reason to leave the subject unresolved.

He sent the counterfeit report to counsel, revoked her access to the house, and made the boundary plain. Audrey and Poppy were his family. Harriet would not be allowed to interfere with them again.

After she left, Thomas looked at the report.

"Does Audrey know?"

Julian's silence answered him.

"Then tell her."

"I will."

"When?"

Julian put the report in his drawer.

"When I can explain it properly."

Thomas looked at the closed drawer as though it contained more than paper.

That evening, Audrey returned home to find Poppy and Julian making pancakes for dinner.

The kitchen looked as if flour had won a small war.

"Daddy said we can eat breakfast whenever we like," Poppy announced.

"Daddy says many things," Audrey said.

Julian looked at her over their daughter's head. He didn't ask her to smile.

At dinner, he listened while she discussed the studio and told her his schedule for the next day without waiting to be asked.

After Poppy went upstairs, he placed a velvet box beside Audrey's plate.

"You don't have to wear it."

She opened it.

A gold sun gleamed inside an open circle.

Her first completed design.

Audrey looked up sharply.

"Where did you get this?"

"I bought your sketch at the student exhibition."

"That was years before we met."

Julian held her gaze.

"Years before you met me."