Enjoy the Job

Lucien began our meeting by sliding a time sheet across his desk.

"Four hours asleep yesterday. Explain."

I looked at the paper.

"The sun was warm."

"That is not an explanation."

"It explains the sleeping quite well."

His ears sharpened through his hair before he forced them down again.

I sat on the visitor's chair. Rowan had brought a cushion because the polished wood was slippery under my paws.

Lucien noticed the cushion too.

"You're paid to work."

"I guarded the entrance. I did the patrol. Nothing else happened."

"Then find something to do."

I tilted my head.

"If nothing needs doing, should I create a problem?"

"Show initiative."

"I reported the pipe."

He opened my personnel folder.

"Eight hundred years. Not one major interception. Not one escaped prisoner apprehended. Not one emergency alarm activated by you."

"That's right."

"And you consider that an achievement?"

"I considered it a pleasant job."

Lucien closed the folder with a slap.

"This institution needs professional staff. Younger staff. People who understand the demands of a modern workplace."

I couldn't argue about my age. There were species that had evolved after I learned to walk.

"Some positions have been occupied too long," he continued. "A fresh perspective could make a considerable difference."

At last, I understood.

"You want the white fox to have my cushion."

"Her name is Felicity."

"The one who brought you the reports yesterday?"

"She is exceptionally capable."

She was also his distant cousin. I didn't know how distant. When she brought the reports, she had sat in his lap, which made the family tree difficult to interpret.

She'd only learned to hold a human shape three years ago. Now, apparently, she was exceptionally capable of entrance security.

The office door opened.

Rowan stepped inside, gripping the frame as though it might lend him courage.

"Deputy Director, Pip has always worked this way. Nothing has changed in eight hundred years."

"Precisely my concern."

"Director Voss never had a problem with it."

Lucien's expression hardened.

Rowan swallowed.

"I only mean that before his retreat, he specifically asked us to look after her."

Seth appeared behind him.

"We all heard it."

His dog ears were out. They usually appeared when he was upset or somebody opened a packet of sausages.

Martha paused in the corridor with a lunch carrier.

"Three times," she added. "He told us three times not to let Pip go hungry."

"This is a personnel discussion," Lucien said.

"He said the dragons would be in terrible trouble if she did," Martha continued, thinking aloud. "I never did understand that part."

I examined the stitching on my cushion.

Aldric had strong opinions about my appetite. Most of them were wrong.

"He told me the job was mine for as long as I wanted it," I said.

Lucien smiled without warmth.

"So that's how this works. You invoke the director, and everyone rushes in to defend you."

"Nobody's rushing," Martha said. "I'm carrying hot gravy."

"I am responsible for operations while Director Voss is unavailable. Or does his absence mean his deputy has no authority?"

Nobody answered.

Seth folded his arms.

Lucien stood.

"Anyone who objects to my standards is welcome to submit a resignation. Today."

"Then I'll—"

I put a paw over Seth's mouth.

His eyes widened.

He had rent to pay and a habit of buying expensive boots. He shouldn't lose his job because somebody disliked my naps.

"No need," I said. "I'll retire."

Rowan stared at me.

"Pip."

"Eight hundred years should qualify me."

Lucien adjusted his cuffs.

"An appropriate decision."

I removed my paw from Seth's mouth.

"Don't bite him," I whispered.

"I wasn't going to bite him."

"You were considering it."

"Briefly."

Behind him, Martha closed her lunch carrier with a sharp click.

"Pip," she said, "you don't have to leave because he doesn't appreciate you."

"No. I'm leaving because I can."

I looked at Seth, then Rowan.

"You two still need your jobs. I'm entitled to a pension. That's a better arrangement than everybody resigning before lunch."

Rowan wiped his glasses.

Lucien checked his watch.

That was when I stopped feeling the least bit sorry for inconveniencing him.

Retirement involved seven forms, two signatures, and Rowan searching for the pension calculator's earliest possible employment date.

It didn't go back far enough.

He entered a note explaining the discrepancy.

"I've never processed one like this," he said.

"Take your time."

Martha brought lunch to his office. Seth stood by the window, furious and silent.

Bram appeared with a small paper bag.

"An advance on the holiday nuts," he muttered.

He set it beside me and left before anyone could thank him.

Rowan stamped the last form so hard the desk shook.

"Are you coming back?"

His eyes were red.

"Probably not."

"Even to visit?"

"You can visit me."

Seth cleared his throat.

"Use my place. It's across the street. I work nights half the week. Somebody should enjoy the heating."

"Do you have a sunny window?"

"Two."

"Then I accept."

I rolled my bedding, tucked the nuts inside, and dragged the bundle through the entrance.

Behind me, something deep in the building made a soft, synchronized sound.

Like many throats swallowing at once.

Rowan glanced toward the stairs.

"That wasn't the ventilation," Seth said.

Rowan listened, his stamp still in his hand.

Nothing moved below us. No alarm sounded. The familiar lobby smelled of floor polish and lunch.

"I'll ask maintenance to check," he said.

I kept walking.

Seth's apartment was small, clean, and full of shoes.

He cleared a corner beneath the window. Rowan brought food the following afternoon, and Martha sent enough chicken to suggest she expected a famine.

Retirement was going well.

I slept until noon. I watched pigeons quarrel. Nobody required an eight-thousand-word account of either activity.

Then Seth showed me the Bureau's new livestream.

Felicity sat on my cushion wearing a tailored blue uniform. A ring light stood where my water bowl had been.

Behind her was a new sign.

CREATURE OUTREACH AND LIVE ENGAGEMENT OFFICER.

"That's quite a lot of words for gatekeeper," I said.

Lucien appeared beside her.

"Our staff must contribute beyond traditional duties. Public engagement will generate additional income while promoting institutional transparency."

Felicity smiled at the camera.

Animated castles exploded across the screen.

A user called QuietWings sent ten.

OnlyOneBite sent twenty.

HarborSerpent sent thirty rockets.

I recognized the names. Even four floors underground, the Bureau's wireless signal was surprisingly good.

"Our residents are supporting the initiative," Lucien announced.

The comments moved faster.

Has the old gatekeeper actually retired?

Are the forms finalized?

Who has the position now?

Will she return?

Felicity laughed.

"Everything is official. I'm your gatekeeper now. You don't need to worry about the rabbit."

More gifts burst across the screen.

I watched for another minute, then pushed the phone away.

"They seem pleased."

Seth looked uncomfortable.

"You don't mind?"

"It's a good cushion. I hope she enjoys it."

That night, I had trouble sleeping.

Probably too much chicken.

At two in the morning, an alarm began ringing across the street.

Seth's phone lit up beside his bed.

For eight hundred years, I had never heard that alarm outside a drill.