"My Ex Hired Me as His Bodyguard" Chapter 5
"Eric. Why don't you want me anymore?"
He was out of his head.
The drinks in places like this often came with something extra.
I gathered him up and carried him out.
As I helped him into the car, he suddenly caught my collar, pulled me down, and pressed his mouth to mine.
I froze for a moment. Then I took hold of his head and kissed him back.
Little bastard.
Even behaving like that.
I still wanted to kiss him so fucking badly.
Could've kissed him to death.
Felix turned and pinned me against the seat. Eyes shut, he kissed me, moving slowly from my lips to my throat and farther down.
He kept his eyes closed. Called my name. Cried.
He looked as though he was in pain.
He might not even know who he was kissing.
If I hadn't come, he might have slept with just anyone tonight.
Crying. Calling my name. Kissing somebody else.
Could I blame him?
Could I say he didn't love me?
That was what frightened me most.
Felix was too reckless.
Too extreme. He didn't value himself. Didn't treat his own life as something that mattered.
If I wasn't watching him, he'd do anything. He couldn't even stop himself.
Being with someone like that was exhausting.
I'd spend every moment afraid. Worried that one second of inattention would be enough for him to get hurt.
Felix wasn't going to change.
13
It was late. I didn't take Felix back to his father's house. I got us a hotel room for the night.
The next morning, I woke early.
Felix was still asleep when I finished washing up. I intended to leave first.
As I reached beside the bed for my phone, a hand caught my wrist and pulled me down. His hot body pressed against mine. Felix pinned me beneath him and buried his face in my neck.
"Eric. Have you slept with my father?"
My whole body went rigid.
Why would Felix ask that?
Before I could speak, he bit the side of my neck. I sucked in a sharp breath.
"Tell me you haven't."
"Lie if you have to."
My neck was wet. Tears.
"Please. Say no, and I'll make myself believe you. I'll forgive you."
I swallowed a breath.
"Who told you that?"
His body stiffened. Then he climbed off me and started getting dressed without a word.
He also took the gun tucked into the back of my waistband.
Before he reached the door, I caught him.
"Where are you going?"
Felix looked at me coldly.
"To kill Finn."
My temples throbbed.
"I haven't slept with your father. I'm asking who told you that. Can you understand what I'm saying?"
Felix's eyes instantly reddened.
"Stop lying!"
He pulled a photograph from his pocket and threw it at me.
It showed Frank and me in the club bathroom.
Frank had an arm around me and was undoing my belt. From that angle, it looked exactly like what Felix thought it was.
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In the photograph, Frank's face was almost completely obscured.
Not many people could have taken a picture like that.
Apart from Frank, there was Finn.
Frank was unlikely.
He wasn't trying to turn his own son against him.
Which left...
"Finn gave you this?"
Felix glared at me and said nothing. An answer in itself.
Looking at him standing there like some tragically betrayed lover, I almost laughed.
"Relax. We didn't sleep together. My trousers didn't even come off."
"Then what's that picture supposed to be?"
I couldn't explain the whole thing to him. All I said was,
"It's just a picture."
Felix clearly wasn't satisfied. His eyes widened, tears spilling before he could stop them.
"You're cruel, Eric. You can't even be bothered to explain yourself anymore. You don't want me."
I let out an angry laugh.
"Which one of us is the bastard here, Felix?"
The anger flared all at once.
"You lied to me. You left the country without a word. You came back and wouldn't leave me alone."
"Finn gives you a picture, and you make up a whole story. You don't even ask me. You just run off and get drunk."
"If I hadn't picked you up last night, you wouldn't even have known who was in your bed this morning. If I didn't want you anymore, that would be one thing. But if I still fucking loved you, you could've chopped my heart up and fed it to the dogs!"
By the end, my eyes stung.
Felix froze. Then he fumbled desperately to hold me.
"No. Eric, no. I wasn't drunk. I knew it was you. I saw you the second you came in last night. I was pretending. I wanted you jealous. I'm yours. I'd never let anyone else into my bed. I'm not an idiot. I know who I'm kissing. If I slept with someone else, you'd be gone."
Fuck.
Now I was even angrier.
I punched him.
Knocked him to the floor and kicked him once for good measure.
"Having fun, asshole?"
14
After finishing my business, I went back to the Sterling house to report to Frank.
In his study, he sat in his chair and said,
"Eric. Go oversee the project in Willow Creek."
"Thank you, sir."
As I left, he added,
"Best if you don't come back to Harbor City."
I agreed.
On my way out, I passed through the garden.
Finn sat on the second-floor terrace. He called my name hesitantly.
"Eric."
I looked back. He smiled at me, beautiful and pale.
"If I jumped from here, would you catch me?"
I looked at him for a long moment.
"Finn. Nobody can catch you. That's your life you're holding in your hands."
I turned and left.
Through the wind, I caught a quiet,
"I'm sorry."
Finn didn't necessarily love me all that much.
He just thought I belonged to him.
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And he didn't want to share anything that belonged to him with Felix.
15
Willow Creek was small.
Much smaller than Harbor City.
Frank had bought several factories there. I went to manage them.
A promotion, in a way.
When Felix came to find me, I was shirtless, hauling freight alongside a group of workers.
I'd had nothing better to do.
"My father sent you here to be a manager, not a laborer."
I didn't answer. Rinsed a towel and wiped off my sweat.
Felix started criticizing everything in my office. The desk wasn't good enough. Neither was the chair. Even a little ornament on the cabinet earned an eight-hundred-word complaint.
By then, he'd worn my temper down to nothing. I washed my face and asked,
"What exactly do you want?"
He stared at me.
"I want you to come back to Harbor City with me."
"No."
Felix lost his temper.
"Look at the way you're living here. You weren't exactly pale before, and now you've baked yourself another few shades darker. When you stood in front of me, I thought you were a life-size piece of chocolate."
Then he touched my head, apparently mourning something.
"You even shaved your hair. Your old haircut looked so good. Put you in a crowd now, and I couldn't tell you from any other security guard."
I almost smiled.
I looked at him.
"Felix, this is who I am. This is the life I come from. Putting on a suit and tie doesn't make me one of you. I'm lucky. I've managed to land a general manager's job. Plenty of people would envy that. I'm comfortable here. More comfortable than I ever was in your father's house. I've spent over a decade out in the wind and rain. For whatever time I've got left, I just want a quiet, steady life. Harbor City is too big. It isn't for me."
Felix fell silent. After a long time, he lowered his eyes.
"But I miss you."
I took a drink of water and turned my head away.
"Then start forgetting me. Your father's still expecting you to give him grandchildren."
Felix lifted his eyes and looked at me darkly.
"Sometimes I really want to kiss that mouth of yours until you can't use it."
He lunged at me and kissed me.
"Grandchildren? I'll make sure the Sterling line ends with me."
I caught his hair and dodged his mouth.
"Didn't you say I was a life-size piece of chocolate?"
Felix reached for my trousers.
"I love chocolate. Let me have a bite."
16
Felix told me that on the day his father's enemies abducted his mother, Frank had been waiting outside his lover's delivery room for Finn to be born.
By the time Frank went to rescue her, she was already dead.
Felix hated his father. His father didn't like Felix much, either.
Felix held me tightly. So tightly.
"Nobody loves me, Eric. Nobody looks after me. Nobody protects me. Except you."
"Nobody ever told me to take care of myself. Nobody taught me how to love anyone else. Before I met you, I didn't know how."
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