"I'm childish, aren't I? I'm sorry. I wanted so badly to prove you'd always love me."

His face was wet. He spoke as though he were dreaming.

"Don't leave me. Don't give up on me. Help me. I'll try to learn."

"I'll learn from you. How to love you."

He cried until the pillow was soaked.

The man was practically made of water.

I stroked his head, held him back, and sighed.

"Enough. Go to sleep, crybaby."

Early the next morning, a call from Frank sent Felix back to Harbor City.

I stayed in Willow Creek, drinking tea and playing cards, living like an old man.

Whenever Felix had time, he came to see me. While he was there, I kept him company and listened to him talk. When he left, I didn't ask him to stay. I went back to my tea and my cards.

Once, before leaving, Felix said,

"Eric. Sometimes I feel like you don't love me as much as you used to."

I could see his disappointment.

He was twenty-six now. But he still looked at me with the same fierce devotion he'd had at eighteen. The same restless uncertainty.

I knew what he wanted to hear.

I was afraid to say it.

Afraid that if I gave him too much, he'd start wasting it again.

I didn't have another heart left to waste.

But I was willing to try.

"Felix. It isn't that I don't love you anymore. It's that you've lied to me enough to make me afraid. You're so busy trying to be sure I love you. Have you ever considered that I need to feel safe, too?"

Felix looked at me for a moment. Then he held my face, resting his forehead against mine, our noses touching.

"It's okay, Eric. Don't worry. Even if you don't love me as much, it's okay."

"You just stay right here. Let me be the one who loves you this time."

Later, Felix and his father had a spectacular falling-out.

The reason was that Felix had gathered our papers, taken me away, and married me.

Frank called Willow Creek. Felix stood on the balcony while his father yelled at him.

Frank's voice carried faintly through the doorway.

"Keep him if you like him. Why the hell did you have to get married?"

Felix said, "Who gets married without a marriage certificate?"

Frank was furious.

"He's a man!"

"Dad, he's old-fashioned. Without that piece of paper, he doesn't feel secure."

Felix spoke plainly.

"This has nothing to do with men or women. I love him. I want him to feel safe. It's that simple. You've never loved anyone, and you've never been loved. You wouldn't understand."

I heard Frank swear even louder.

The night was quiet. Every word of his outrage came through clearly.

In the end, he swallowed his anger and accepted it.

Later, he called me instead.

"Eric. I'll give you this. You know what you're doing. Felix has bowed his head to me exactly twice in his life. Both times for you. If it weren't for protecting you, he'd never have called me Dad again."

I smiled, narrowed my eyes, and said softly,

"I don't have any special tricks, Mr. Sterling. You just don't understand."

Frank said nothing.

I looked up. On the balcony, Felix was fussing over two pots of flowers he was well on his way to killing.

"Felix," I called.

He turned.

"I love you."

His eyes lit up instantly.

Just as they had when he was eighteen.

THE END