"I Hid Beneath a Mafia Boss's Desk. He Refused to Give Me Back." Chapter 9
HE KNEW ALL ALONG
We stood beside the lake until the cold made my fingers ache. Alexander finished the song softly, uncertain of two lines, and I supplied them.
It wasn't a miracle that repaired everything between us. He had still made choices that hurt me. He had still become a man my father had argued with.
But the song gave us something neither of us had to defend.
"He called me his boy," Alexander said. "I thought it was just something kind adults said."
"Dad didn't say things he didn't mean."
He wiped his cheek with the heel of his hand.
"I don't know what to do with this."
"You don't have to decide today."
He gave me a small, sad smile. "That sounds familiar."
We went for coffee. For once, neither of us ordered anyone to find answers. We talked about yellow curtains and terrible sandwiches, and he listened while I told him how Dad used to fall asleep reading aloud and insist he had merely paused.
The call from Rebecca came four days later.
The storage device held copied financial records, correspondence, and conversations Daniel had saved. Some files were damaged. Others could be recovered and compared with records investigators were already collecting.
She asked me to come in with someone I trusted.
I called Lucy.
At the office, Rebecca explained that Derek's connection to the money was becoming clearer. He had been paid to locate records Daniel had concealed. Messages and payments recovered in the current investigation supported that purpose.
Our first meeting at a bookstore had not been accidental.
He had known my name before he asked whether the seat beside me was taken.
"Did he know about Dad?" I asked.
Rebecca folded her hands. "We need to talk about that."
The old files contained suspicious payments surrounding the collision. They did not solve everything alone. But combined with later records and people investigators had located, they revealed a sequence the original inquiry had never uncovered.
Vittorio had arranged to silence my father. Derek, then a young associate, had helped disguise payments afterward.
He had not driven the truck.
He had known why it hit my father's car.
I sat very still while Rebecca spoke. Then I asked for water.
Lucy handed me the glass. I spilled some on my trousers because I couldn't make my fingers work.
"He knew," I said.
"Yes," Rebecca answered quietly.
I remembered our second Christmas together. I had cried while making the stuffing because Dad used to taste it before it went into the oven. Derek had put his arms around me and said my father would want me to be happy.
He had known.
On the anniversary of the crash, he had driven me to the cemetery. He had bought flowers. At the grave, he told me he wished he could have met the man who raised me.
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He had known then too.
I bent forward and made a sound I didn't recognize.
Lucy knelt beside my chair. She didn't tell me to breathe until I looked at her. Then she breathed slowly with me, her hand on my knee.
"I told him everything about Dad."
"I know."
"He listened. He asked questions."
"That isn't something you did wrong."
I shook my head because I couldn't accept comfort yet. I needed to feel the size of what had happened before anyone helped me carry it.
Rebecca left the folder closed. She didn't make me examine another page.
Later, when I could ask questions again, she answered them. Some would take months. Some would require testimony I wasn't ready to hear. None would become less true because Derek called me confused.
Alexander began providing records through his attorneys. I learned that doing so threatened arrangements he had relied on, exposed dealings he would rather have kept private, and brought scrutiny he couldn't simply direct elsewhere.
I asked him about it when he came to Rebecca's office.
"What happens to you?"
"I don't know all of it yet."
"Are you doing this because of the photograph?"
"The photograph doesn't change what I owe you an explanation for."
He pulled a chair away from the table and sat.
"Daniel tried to keep me from becoming my father. I can't keep saying I loved him while protecting the things he wanted stopped."
It wasn't a promise to become innocent. He couldn't make one, and I would not have believed it.
It was something he could do, and was doing.
Derek was arrested six weeks after I left him. The case involved the accounts in my name, the concealment of funds, and his role in the events surrounding my father's death. Rebecca warned me that arrest was a beginning, not an ending.
Vittorio's protection from an earlier cooperation agreement no longer kept his renewed involvement hidden. Investigators began addressing what he had concealed. Alexander's attorneys kept him informed. Rebecca kept me informed.
For once, I was not the last person to hear about my own life.
I chose to attend Derek's first court appearance. Lucy sat on one side of me, Rebecca on the other until she had to step away.
"We can leave," Lucy whispered.
"I know."
Derek looked smaller without a room full of guests to impress. His suit was wrinkled. He searched the seats until he found me.
Then his face changed.
The softened eyes. The little smile. The expression that had made people tell me I was lucky.
He mouthed two words.
Come here.
My shoulders tightened. My feet moved beneath the seat before I stopped them.
Lucy rested her hand beside mine.
He tried again, this time shaping my name slowly, as if the problem was that I hadn't understood.
I understood perfectly.
I looked directly at him and stayed seated.
His smile vanished. A court officer directed him forward, and for the first time I saw him forced to turn away while I remained where I wanted to be.
Outside, my legs shook so badly I sat on the steps.
Lucy sat beside me.
"I thought I'd feel stronger," I admitted.
"You stayed."
I looked down at my hands. Still shaking. Still mine.
"Yes," I said. "I did."
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