11.

I get wrong?"

It had been a long time since I'd shouted at anyone like this.

It almost felt as if my lungs weren't big enough.

I loosened my own collar and dragged in mouthfuls of air.

Adrian's lips moved.

"I just..."

Wanted you to have an easier time.

I never heard those words. I cut him off.

I talked fast, nervously, letting whatever came into my head spill out.

"You just what? Let me guess. You like me. You're in love with me, and you can't stand seeing me suffer. Is that it?"

Adrian shut his eyes abruptly.

The living room went silent for a second.

Oh?

I felt as if I'd discovered a new continent.

I threw my head back and laughed like a lunatic.

Then I stepped closer, watching the prominent knot in his throat move.

"Well, tell the whole fucking world. Adrian Mercer fell in love with his enemy's son, and now he can't help putting the leash around his own neck whenever he sees me."

I gripped his neck and rubbed my thumb over his throat with practiced familiarity.

Every word.

Every movement.

I drove them into his spine.

Everything I'd kept down for so long came pouring out.

Adrian tried to pull my hand away.

He couldn't.

I'd spent years doing physical work. My strength wasn't a joke anymore.

The fever had left me weak earlier.

Now adrenaline was tearing through me.

I could have punched him into the wall and left him there.

In fact, I did hit him.

One punch to the stomach.

I grabbed his hair and said quietly, "That's for the kick yesterday."

His breathing rasped like a broken bellows.

His head hung beneath my hand, and a sound escaped him.

I leaned closer.

Then I heard it.

"I fucking hate you, Julian."

12.

"Good."

I couldn't smile anymore.

I had liked Adrian. Really liked him.

I'd whispered it once in the middle of the night, half convinced I was dreaming.

I knew he hadn't been asleep.

So I knew what his silence meant.

He couldn't deny it.

For that one second just now, his silence had given my heart a little tremor of hope.

But I knew it was impossible.

He hated me.

And now I'd heard the answer with my own ears.

Bitterness spread through my chest like branches growing, each new twig another prick of pain.

I lifted my head and closed my eyes hard.

Then I said softly, "If you hate me, just hate me. Hating me and doing this at the same time is fucking sick."

I let him go.

This time, he didn't stop me. I swayed my way to the door.

Behind me, he spoke again.

His voice was strained.

"What if I said I didn't hate you?"

I stood there.

Fucking lunatic.

I'd thought he could hold his drink. Apparently both halves of his brain had been steeping in it.

I didn't turn around.

"Sure. Fine. Thanks for being so forgiving. Then I'll hate you. How about that?"

My hand settled on the door handle.

I didn't open it right away.

A strange silence settled over the room.

After a long time, I let out a shaking breath.

My voice was hoarse.

"Your mother's gone, Adrian. Mine is too. Whoever was responsible, it doesn't matter now."

"I know I was a piece of shit. I've paid for it. Can we call it even?"

"You can be a CEO. I'll keep doing deliveries. I won't come near your building again. I'll stay as far away from you as I can."

"I don't love you anymore. I don't hate you either. We can just never see each other again. Can't we?"

I didn't wait for an answer.

I went downstairs.

The cold wind cut into my chest. I hunched my neck into my collar.

I prayed again.

Let this be it.

Let me never see him again.