Lost in Translation

Cole was in a terrible mood by breakfast.

He put my toast down with such care that I suspected the plate was being spared on purpose.

I signed a thank-you.

He nodded without looking at me.

Mason glanced between us over his cereal, decided he wanted no part of whatever was happening, and took his bowl into the other bedroom.

By lunch, I had nearly canceled the experiment twice.

Ryan sent a message saying he was outside the student center. I read it under the desk while Cole packed his laptop.

“You ready?” he asked.

Not remotely.

I nodded.

He held the door for me. His hand moved toward my lower back, stopped, and fell to his side.

That small interruption felt worse than his scowl.

I knew how it looked to him. I was asking him to help me start a relationship he didn't want me to have.

I didn't know what the reluctance meant yet.

I wanted to. Enough to keep walking.

Ryan waited near the benches behind the building, where the path widened around a maple tree. He wore the same blue shirt as on our date.

I had told him it looked good. Apparently, even a fake confession deserved decent styling.

His smile became strained when Cole approached.

“Hey, Captain.”

“Ryan.”

A thrilling beginning.

Cole stopped beside me with his arms folded. “Jamie has something to tell you. I'm translating.”

Ryan nodded so earnestly I wanted to kick him.

“Okay. Sure.”

I took a breath.

Cole looked at my face. His expression shifted, briefly softer.

“If you don't want to do it today, you don't have to.”

That made my chest tighten.

I could stop now. Go back upstairs. Eat lunch with him and spend another month wondering whether straight men normally nibbled their friends.

Instead, I lifted my hands.

“I want to tell him.”

Cole's mouth flattened.

“All right.”

I turned to Ryan and arranged my face into something shy and hopeful.

It wasn't difficult. I felt both those things, just not about the man in front of me.

“The first time we met, I thought you were a really good person,” I signed.

Cole watched every movement.

Then he told Ryan, “He thinks you're nice.”

I waited.

“That's usually what people say before they reject you,” Cole added.

Ryan blinked.

I turned my head slowly.

Cole's expression didn't change.

I could have challenged him immediately. That was what I normally did. But the point was to see how far he would take it.

So I continued.

“I've liked spending time with you. You wait for me to finish what I'm saying. I like you, and I'd like us to try dating.”

My hands felt unusually clumsy.

Not because the words were difficult.

Because Cole wasn't looking at them anymore.

He was looking at me.

The air between us went still.

Ryan shifted his weight.

“Cole?” he asked. “What did he say?”

Cole didn't answer.

His eyes moved over my face, searching for something I couldn't identify. The annoyance was still there, but underneath it was an expression I had never seen on him before.

It made me forget the speech I'd rehearsed.

I lowered my hands a little.

He looked down at them.

Then away.

When his gaze came back, something had settled.

Ryan tried again. “Captain?”

Cole smiled.

It wasn't a friendly smile.

“He told you to get lost.”

For one glorious second, even knowing what we were doing, I couldn't believe he'd said it.

Ryan's mouth fell open.

I stared at Cole.

Then my hands flew up.

“Why are you changing what I said again?”

Cole caught neither wrist this time. Instead, he stepped behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me back against his chest.

My breath caught.

He bent enough to see my face from the side. His eyes were very dark.

Then he looked at Ryan.

“What Jamie means,” he said slowly, “is that I'm the only man he's going to love.”

My brain emptied.

I had expected jealousy. Perhaps a rude translation. Possibly an argument over where Ryan intended to take me afterward.

I had not expected to be held against my roommate while he announced ownership of my entire romantic future.

I twisted enough to look up at him.

He glanced down.

For the first time all day, he looked almost calm.

Of course he did. Apparently, the solution to his bad mood had been me.

I lifted a hand toward his face, intending to demand an explanation.

He moved his chin closer, as though he thought I wanted to touch him.

I stopped.

The idiot actually looked pleased.

Across from us, Ryan cleared his throat.

“I'm sorry,” he said. “Did I miss something?”

Cole kept his arm around me.

“No.”

“That sounded like a pretty significant something.”

I nodded vigorously.

Cole ignored both of us.

Ryan's eyes narrowed. Some of the nerves left his face, replaced by the determination I'd seen when he talked about basketball.

“You can't tell him who he's allowed to date,” he said.

Cole's hand shifted against my sweater.

“I know.”

“Then maybe let him answer.”

I looked up at Cole again.

He was watching Ryan, but I could feel the tension return to his body.

The words he'd said hung there between the three of us. He couldn't put them back. I couldn't pretend I hadn't heard them.

Ryan drew a breath.

“You keep telling everyone you're straight,” he said. “So what, exactly, do you mean when you say Jamie can only love you?”