"I Was Hired to Care for Him—Not Fall for Him" Chapter 12
I STAYED BECAUSE I WANTED TO
On the morning of Wes's surgery, Nico arrived at the hospital before visiting hours and argued with a coffee machine.
I found him in the corridor holding a paper cup and looking deeply resentful.
"Did you lose?" I asked.
"It took my money and gave me brown water."
For the first time since five that morning, I smiled.
He offered his free hand.
"How is he?"
"He asked if he could bring the dinosaur. Then he wanted to know whether the scar would look cool."
"And you?"
I looked at the door behind me.
"Waiting until he's asleep so I can keep a promise."
Nico stayed with me. June brought food. Evelyn appeared early in the afternoon with a bag of magazines none of us managed to read.
When someone finally called my name, I stood so quickly I nearly dropped my phone. I listened to the team, asked the questions I'd written down, and needed one answer repeated because I was crying too hard to hear it properly.
Wes was being monitored in recovery. The procedure had gone as expected. There would still be care and difficult days ahead, but we'd made it through that door.
I returned to the corridor and saw Nico straighten in his chair.
I nodded before I could speak.
He opened his arms. I went to him, bent down, and cried against his neck.
"He's all right," I kept saying. "They said he's all right."
Nico moved his hand slowly over my back.
That evening, when I was allowed to see Wes, he opened his eyes just enough to ask if I'd brought his dinosaur.
"It's here."
"Don't lose it."
"I won't."
He fell asleep again. I watched his small hand on the sheet and, for the first time in years, imagined a future without calculating the cost at the same time.
The following months weren't all relief. There were appointments, exhaustion, overdue chores, and nights when Wes called for me because he was afraid something would hurt again. But there was also a return to school, a photograph in a new shirt, and an indignant complaint that June still wouldn't allow cereal for dinner.
I joined a home-care team with a schedule that let me be home at predictable times. I resumed the class I'd postponed. The first session made me more nervous than some of the arguments at the mansion.
Nico called afterward.
"Did you survive?"
"I was the only person with three pens, none of which worked."
"That explains why you inspected my supplies so carefully. You were projecting."
Wes and I kept our apartment. Some evenings, we ate with Nico. On others, he came to us in Cicero after we'd arranged suitable access and carefully checked the space. June treated him like any adult capable of carrying a grocery bag on his lap. She handed him the bag and didn't make a ceremony of it.
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I liked seeing him there, away from the marble and the people who mistook fear for respect.
His recovery followed its own course. With proper follow-up, he was more alert, stronger, less vulnerable to those hours when he seemed to disappear inside his own body. The injury remained. Some days hurt. On others, he could do more than he'd imagined the week before.
We didn't turn every appointment into a forecast of miracles. He continued using his chair, choosing where he wanted to go, learning new ways to do certain things, and complaining about others.
One afternoon after physical therapy, he went quiet when he saw me waiting near the exit.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Today wasn't good."
"Do you want to talk, or would you rather eat first?"
He considered.
"I want to kiss you. Then eat. Then possibly complain for forty minutes."
"I've got half an hour. You'll need to be efficient."
He caught my hand with the smile I found myself looking for before I even saw him.
Evelyn rented a place of her own and visited her brother without asking anyone's permission. Not every conversation was easy. Some ended with the two of them on the balcony in silence, letting proximity do what words couldn't yet.
The case against Matteo continued until he was convicted of the crimes the evidence established. Months of testimony and records couldn't be compressed into a single morning, but they no longer needed to occupy every meal. The others involved answered for their own conduct. Patrick kept us informed without turning Nico's life into a permanent waiting room.
Camille never came to the apartment. Her last message went through the attorney. Nico didn't ask me to read it, and I didn't want to.
He reorganized the businesses he could operate legitimately, ended old relationships, and faced losses he didn't usually discuss in front of guests. I heard him tell an associate that threats weren't an acceptable way to collect a debt. At home, he explained why he'd had to say it. I preferred that uncomfortable conversation to any pretty version of events in which he'd never belonged to his father's world.
One Friday in spring, June kept Wes and forbade me to come home before ten.
"You can spend one evening without checking that he packed his school tablet. I'm capable of looking inside a backpack."
I went to Nico's with dessert and a key he'd given me two weeks earlier.
I still touched the key inside my purse to reassure myself it was there. He'd handed it over without a speech, saying I was welcome to keep knocking if I preferred. I'd laughed and nearly cried at the same time.
I let myself in and smelled garlic.
"If you ordered food and you're pretending you cooked it, you need to get the packaging out of the trash," I called.
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His answer came from the kitchen.
"Inspect the evidence before you destroy my reputation."
He'd prepared dinner at an adapted counter. There was sauce on his cuff and flour on a towel. He came closer, put a hand at my waist, and kissed me until I forgot the dessert in my hand.
"You look beautiful," he said.
"You look messy."
"I'm also in love. Try to prioritize."
After dinner, we left the dishes and went to the window. The city was lit, but the sky still held a little blue. I sat sideways on the sofa near him, my feet tucked onto a cushion.
Nico took an envelope from his pocket.
My body recognized the gesture before I did. He noticed and set the envelope open on my knee.
Inside was a printed page with information about the trip I'd mentioned months earlier.
"I haven't bought anything," he explained. "I looked at dates. You said Wes would be out of school in July. We could plan with him, if you'd like. If you'd rather go alone, I can keep complaining over the phone."
I looked at the notes in the margins. He'd checked accessibility, distances between places, and an excursion my brother would probably enjoy.
"Did you imagine yourself actually going?" I asked.
He smiled.
"I tried. It was my favorite part."
I put the paper on the table and moved closer. He brushed a strand of hair from my face.
"Are you happy?"
I thought before answering. I'd said I was fine out of necessity so often that I wanted to give this question a real answer.
"I'm tired some days. I'm still afraid of a few things. I want to replace our couch and pass that impossible class. And when I think about who I want to tell all of that to, I think of you."
He kissed my forehead.
"That's better than the answer I'd prepared."
"You prepared an answer for me?"
"I was hoping for yes."
I took his hand and brought it to my mouth.
"Yes, Nico. I'm happy."
My phone vibrated. June had sent a photograph of Wes asleep across the couch, his dinosaur trapped under one arm. The caption informed me that no one had ever died from having pancakes twice in one week.
I showed Nico. He enlarged the photograph and shook his head.
"That dinosaur has a better life than I do."
"You just ate three servings of pasta, and you're complaining with your girlfriend sitting next to you."
"You're right. It's a tie."
I laughed and leaned in to kiss him. He welcomed me with a familiarity that could still surprise me: his hand against my face, his unhesitating care, his certainty that I wanted to be there.
When we drew apart, he asked, "Will you stay?"
I remembered our first dawn in that apartment. My wrinkled scrubs, the suitcase in the hallway, all the questions I hadn't known how to answer.
Now my coat lay over a chair, the key was in my purse, and my life was still my own.
"Yes. I need to pick Wes up early tomorrow."
"We could bring breakfast."
"Don't buy cereal. June will blame you."
"She already blames me for plenty."
I switched off the living room light. When I turned back, Nico was waiting with his hand extended.
I'd been hired to care for him. I'd learned to recognize his pain, argue with his stubbornness, and listen to what he said when he stopped giving orders.
He'd learned that I needed rest, choices, and someone who would answer when I didn't know how to keep going, either.
I took his hand and went with him.
This time, I stayed because I wanted to.
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